Blank Spaces
by KCCal
Summary: Bella gets lost in the middle of the forest on the way to her friend, Jasper's, wedding rehearsal. The forest is completely desolate besides a cabin owned by a mysterious bronze-haired stranger. Can he help Bella with more than just a way to get back home? All Human/AU-ish
1. Light in the trees

Summary: Bella gets lost in the middle of the forest on the way to her friend, Jasper's, wedding rehearsal. The forest is completely desolate besides one lone cabin owned by a mysterious bronze-haired artist. Can this man help Bella with more than just finding her way back home? A story about love and finding yourself in the most unlikely of places. AH/AU-ish

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters

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Chapter 1: Light in the trees

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The old gravel road was worn and bumpy and caused the truck to spin and bounce. It made me move up and down against the seat and i found myself sliding off of it. I was probably going over a hundred miles per hour at this point. It didn't really matter though, being as the only thing I've seen for miles on end is pine trees and gravel road. The dark sky cast an eerie cloud above the forest only broken by the beam of the truck's headlights.

I pushed aside the half empty coke cans in the cup holder to see the dashboard clock.

**8:15**

_Shit_

I was supposed to be at Jasper and Alice's wedding rehearsal at 8.

I pushed down the gas petal with a little more force which resulted in a defiant moan from the engine.

_Come on please, not now._

I was desperate to make it to the rehearsal on time. Jasper always teased me for always being late to everything, saying I would be late to my own funeral If I could. I wanted to prove him wrong so I got ready early and left the house at 7 o'clock, exactly one hour before the rehearsal started. He told me his aunt's house, where the rehearsal was taking place, was about a half hour away from my apartment.

If it was a half hour away then why am I straight in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the Washington forest? I reached over and flung open the glove box and pulled out the napkin which Jasper scribbled the directions onto.

**Drive 10 miles down Route 37 until you see the fork in the road turn left. **

I've been driving a lot more than ten miles, that's for sure. Where's the fork in the road then? I pushed my head outside the truck's window to get a better view of the upcoming road when I was hit with a large, cold gust of wind. The wind sent my long brunette curls to fling up and wrap around my face, which blocked my vision. I tried to smooth down my hair with one of my hands, to untangle the strands.

This is what I deserve for not doing my hair for the rehearsal. My hair was just kept down and swept to the side. I was in such a hurry not to be late, I didn't have much time to do anything about it. I did manage to put on some mascara and some lipstick though. That made it look like I put some effort into my appearance. On the other hand I put on a plain navy blue dress and black heels. The outfit kind of made me think of my mother, Renee, who always loves to dress up in this kind of stuff. I'm not really one for dressing up. I usually just wear jeans, sneakers and a sweatshirt. I don't really do my hair and I only usually wear makeup when i'm in that 'impress that hot guy that works in the office' kind of mood.

Today is different though. Jasper made me promise him that I wouldn't show up in converses and jeans; I reluctantly agreed. He also made me promise that I'd be on time.

_One promise followed through, that's not so bad? _

I squinted my eyes to see in the distance better when my hair began to fling itself around my face again. I groaned, and tried to get the hair tie from my wrist and still continue to look forward. I saw a small, green sign on the side of the road with small, white writing. Maybe the sign would give me some idea of where I am. At least if it told me I was in some type of town I could see if Jasper mentions it in the directions and If it isn't mentioned in the directions at least I know I'm for sure lost and need to turn.

I managed to grab the hair tie from my wrist and I removed one of my hands from the steering wheel to tie my hair back. The car jutted into a weird angle and almost threw me off my seat. _What the hell._ The front tires then turned forcing me to make a sharp left off the road and into the forest floor. I screamed and grasped the steering wheel with both hands, throwing my entire body weight into making a turn back into the road. The tires screeched and my small body bounced up and down on the seat from the force of the car's movement. The turn was too late. The side of my car turned down a small hill before the forest landing. The next thing I know, the front of my truck enters the forest and my entire body is thrusted forward in my seat. I hear the screeching of metal and tree branches scratching the glass of the windshield. The contents in the cup holders flew out and hit the ground along with all my stuff in the passenger seat like my sneakers and backpack.

It all happened so quickly that I wasn't sure if it were real or not. One moment I'm driving down a quiet, road in the middle of the forest and the next im head first in a car collision. Smoke began to soundlessly lift from the front of the car along with a large cloud of dust and leaves. The engine also began to make some weird sort of chugging noise which can only be identified as 'not a good sound.'

After the loud sounds of the engine and the damage of the metal scraping the tree subsided, I'm left alone with the quiet sounds of the forest like the 'hoos' of the owls and the swaying of the wind throughout the spaces of the trees. My hands are still firmly planted on the steering wheel and my whole body is shaking from the adrenaline of the impact. _What the hell was that? _

This can't be happening to me right now. This is the kind of stuff that happens to those girls on the late night horror movie shows. The girl whose coming back from her boyfriend's house when she accidently runs out of gas and is found by some psycho killer in the woods.

_Oh no._

I winded up the window and sunk down into my seat. _Oh no, Oh, no. _I reached over and locked both car doors. My hands were shaking and I could feel my eyes growing heavy from unshed tears. I fumbled with the pile of fallen objects on the floor looking for my cell phone. I would call Jasper and tell him to come find me or I'd call the police. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. I just need someone to help me get out of here. Who knows what could happen if I just stayed here in the middle of nowhere? This was certainly not how I pictured my last hours on earth. I wanted to be an old lady in my beach house in Miami with my husband by my side or some shit. I didn't want to die alone in the middle of the forest when I was only twenty three. When I found my cell phone, I sunk back down into the seat and flipped it open.

**Looking for service**

It said clear as day, in small white taunting little print. My heart may have died a little after processing those words. All sense of hope was thrown out the window. There was no town nearby for miles, so no one was likely to travel by here. Maybe there would be the occasional tow truck or something that would pass by who would help me. How likely was that though? It's not like I could wait for that to happen either. It could be days until someone drove by here and I didn't have any food with me besides a couple old half-empty cans of coca cola.

It was then I realized I never read the sign on the side of the road. I opened the glove box and pulled out my small, pocketsize flashlight and shined it out the windshield towards the sign in the distance to get a better view.

**Forks 20 miles**

Forks? I've never heard of the town of Forks and I've lived here, in Washington, since my junior year of high school, Hmm, weird. At least there _is _a town nearby! This is a good thing. Since there's a town close by the chances of someone driving down this road are greater.

_Well, there weren't any cars on this very, same road for the last 30-something-miles, _the more reasonable part of my brain argued.

That very thought made my eyes fall watery again. Silent tears streamed down onto my cheeks as I hugged my knees close to my body. There was so much still in life that I'd wanted to do. I never got a chance to go skydiving or go and visit Italy or go sightseeing in New York. Instead I was going to die in the middle of nowhere when I was twenty-three-years-old before I even began to live due to some crazy ax murderer. The tears became more consistent and broke out into small sobs. I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands, trying to keep my mascara from running. I must look like a complete train wreck right now, or car wreck would be more appropriate I guess. With the messed up hair, smeared makeup, stilettos and skanky little dress I probably looked like some runaway stripper or some prostitute that was just driving around looking for clients. I groaned and tried to untangle my hair with my fingertips that was thrown and clumped against my scalp.

My only hope was that a car would make its way down the road and offer to help me. If it happened to be some sleazy tow truck driver I didn't want them to think I would 'reciprocate' them for their kindness, looking the way I did now. The thought made me shudder.

Hey, no offense to the two truck drivers. Maybe I was just being unreasonable and paranoid like I usually did in situations like this. Not that I've ever been in a situation really anything close to this though…

This part of the forest was so isolated that a passing car could do anything they wanted to me without it ever being noticed or heard. They could take all my stuff and just drive off and nothing would happen to them. Well, the only thing I had of value was the fourteen dollars in my wallet and my cell phone which was the old outdated version that probably had a value of one dollar on eBay.

Defeated, I laid my head on the truck's window and looked out into the dark forest, trying to calm myself down. The sky was almost pitch black besides the eerie white color of the moon, causing most of the dark-colored bark on the pine trees to look united instead of separated from one another. They created almost a silent wall against the night. The silent sway of the leaves was the only movement visible.

I stayed still for a moment watching the leaves, feeling my body begin to relax. They seemed so peaceful I couldn't help but feel entranced by them, hypnotized by the movement. I admired the different shades of green on every leave, how no one leaf was the same compared to another.

One of the leaves had a weird shine of yellow over the surface of it. It glimmered and held my attention over the others.

The neighboring leaf also had a shade of yellow on it, the one next to that one too. I then began to notice that all the leaves around that area where shining with some weird whitish-yellow glow. I picked my head up and leaned over the dashboard to get a better view. All the trees that lay behind the tree with the glowing leaves were also illuminated. I unlocked the door and opened it cautiously, which opened with a loud creaking noise, deafening the small sounds of the forest. My shoes made small snapping noises with the fallen leaves of the ground as I got out of the car and walked closer to the tree with the shining, yellowish light. When I got to the tree, my heart began to race. _Light. _

I whipped my head behind the tree to see a small cabin in the distance with a small window in the front that shined across the pine trees. The light was beaconing, welcoming.

I don't know who's up there or if there's a god or anything like that. I've never really been much into religion but something about that cabin was unworldly. What were the chances of it being here, right when I needed it. It was almost like fate. _Pfft, yeah ok. _Fate was only something used in cheesy chick flicks. It was just a…_extreme_ coincidence.

I felt my body mindlessly moving towards the glow of the window. Walking turned into jogging which turned into full on running through the trees towards the house. My body felt light on my feet and I probably had the goofiest grin on my face. The relief and exhilaration was coursing through my veins. The cold air pierced the naked skin not covered by the thin material of my dress, as I ran between the trees, making me feel even more energized. I felt invincible.

The cabin was so close I would reach it any second. It was just outside of the forest's tree line in a opened meadow surrounded by small white and blue flowers scattered about. On the left side of the house was a small stream of water that splashed quietly around the rocks, only visible by the light coming from the window.

It about took my breath away. It was beautiful, perfect.

I was just about outside of the forest and into the opening when a small vine on the forest floor wrapped itself around the heel of my stiletto. One half of my body stopped while the other part was still moving towards the house, causing me to slam down into the ground, hard. The air left my lungs in an audible _whoosh. _I didn't feel invincible anymore. I didn't know what I was feeling anymore. Black crept its way into my vision and my body felt weak, with sharp pains scattered throughout my arms and legs.

_This is what you get for trying to run in heels Bella _

I tried to groan at my stupidity, but it even hurt to do that. I just laid motionless as the pain began to increase and my eyes began to close slowly. In some distant part of my mind I heard yelling and the swishing the sneakers.

"Are you okay?" A voice yelled, followed by a warm set of muscular arms wrapping around me. "Can you hear me?" the voice whispered, slightly shaking me. It was pleading and desperate sounding, the hold on my body got tighter. I felt myself being lifted from the ground and moved towards the bright light in the distance.

I lost the battle to the darkness physically and mentally. I felt drained and left without fight. I closed by eyes to overcome the pained sensation spreading through my body. Before I knew it...

i was out.


	2. Man with the bronze hair

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters

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Chapter 2: Man with the bronze hair

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My head felt heavy, my arms, my legs. Everything just felt _heavy_.

I tried to flip my body over and make myself more comfortable when a weird, sharp pain pierced my torso. _Ow, fuck. _I clenched my teeth and rolled into my previous position, lying on my back. _Won't be trying to do that again._

I felt like I was just abducted and dissected by a bunch of aliens. My sides were throbbing and my head was going right along with the rhythm to match. I must have gotten really drunk and fell down on the concrete or did something else last night that was really stupid.

Classic Bella

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

The repetition racked throughout my body and forced me to keep time with it, the sound became almost deafening.

I opened my eyes slowly. The light immediately hit me like a crashing blow. It stung and I clenched my eyes tight in annoyance and rubbed the back of my palms against them. Having my eyes closed against the harsh light seemed like a nice idea. Maybe I'd just stay here and rest all today. My aching limbs and throbbing headache screamed yes at that idea.

I wondered what time it was. It couldn't be any more after noon.

_Shit! _Did I have work today? Jasper and Alice's wedding rehearsal was last night, on a Saturday, so today was a Sunday. I did have work on Sundays. _Ugh_

I'd have to call in late _again._

Charlotte would surely have my ass on this one. I'd be lucky if she didn't fire me. Maybe I could call Benjamin and see if he'd take my shift because there is absolutely no way I'm going to be able to work today little alone get out of this bed.

I swatted around me looking for my phone on my bed. I probably fell asleep with it last night and didn't charge it. My hand got hold on something rough and textured while I was looking for my phone. It was couch material.

_What the-_

I noticed a red-colored flannel blanket covering the lower half of my body. I looked around to see myself lying flat against a long couch in some wooded-wall room.

_Oh no. Where am I? Oh no, Oh no_.

_How drunk did I get last night? Please tell me I didn't sleep with some guy. Oh, please!_

I tried to swing my legs off the couch but it was a failed attempt. A sharp pain jolted my body and I yelped. I reluctantly sunk back down into the couch, my body in too much in pain for anything else.

_What am I doing here?_

I began to panic, and nervously ringed my fingers through my matted hair. Whose house was I at_?_ What if I made a fool of myself at Jasper's rehearsal; he'd never forgive me. It would be almost as bad as Jasper's 21st birthday when I got beyond wasted and Jasper was forced to carry me out of the club.

_Well, this certainly would top that! What kind of shitty friend am I? _

I don't remember much of anything last night besides getting dressed for the rehearsal and driving to Jasper's Aunt's home.

_Yeah!_ I was driving through the forest. I remember it was miles and miles of just the same thing: trees, sky and gravel road. Yeah_, that's right…_

The air was cold and blew my hair up and around my face and I reached to get a hair tie from around my wrist.

Then the car swerved.

I was immediately hit with the vision: screeching of tires and the clunk of the pine tree's wood against the metal of a car, Visions smoke, dust, and flown leaves in the air, swirling around helplessly in my mind. I could almost smell the engine burning and the musky scent of the dirt.

_The Crash_

_How could I forget the crash?_

At the moment, I almost wished I was having a one-night drunken stand with some stranger I met at Jasper's wedding rehearsal. It would have been a hell of a lot better than here! Even if I knew where _here_ exactly was.

I now was playing with my hair and tugging it so hard, it was painful. It was a really bad nervous habit I've had since before I can remember. Whenever I got stressed out or anxious, I always played with my hair.

A loud clunk sounded from the other side of the wooden-wall and I jumped. The clunk sounded again, louder this time and was shortly followed by another.

_Clunk._

_Clunk._

I pulled the blanket up further to cover the upper half of my body as well as the bottom half of my face. I probably looked like a frightened little girl, quivering under her blanket, afraid of the thunder. I _was _frightened though. I don't ever remember being this scared in my entire life!

That clunk could be the sound of an axe for all I knew. It could be the sound of an axe hitting a human body. I yelped again, like a scared little puppy and trembled beneath the thin wall of a shield.

_I need to get out of here._

I once again tried to roll myself off the couch. I clenched my teeth together, and scrunched my eyes in pain as I slowly tried to push myself off the couch and run the hell away from here.

The clunking grew louder and more consistent. A loud smack sounded against the wooded-wall and I looked over to see a screen door open and a man standing in the doorway holding the door's handle.

My heart about stopped.

My breath caught in my throat and my mouth felt dry.

He was gorgeous.

His hair was a strange, and intriguing shade of red and brown mixed together to create a bronze, that can only be described as the color of a penny. It was messy and matted every which way on his head, and spotted with was looked like oil in some places. Sweat lined his forehead and the skin that wasn't covered by the thin grey, V-neck that clung around his stomach. He wore simple black shorts that surpassed his knees and a pair of red sneakers. The one thing that really got my attention though was his eyes.

_His eyes._

The most beautiful shade of green I've ever seen. It wasn't quite as dark as the color of the pine tree leaves of the forest. It wasn't quite as light as the grass in the meadow.

_The grass in the meadow_…oh yes, I remember the meadow.

The grass in the meadow, running, the air, the fall…the voice

Him.

It was him.

I felt my breath hitch and my body automatically fell limp against the couch. Him, he saved me.

He still stood motionless in the doorway, his eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes trained on me. I just kept lying on the couch, still clinging onto the blanket for dear life. Like a complete idiot, with wide eyes challenging him to make the first move.

What was I supposed to say? _You're beautiful but um I'm not sure if you're a crazed ax-murderer or not, so please don't kill me if you are?_

He was the one to break the silence by letting his hand come off the handle which resulted in the door hitting the frame, causing me to jump. He chuckled and raised both his hands in front of him. "I come in peace," he said, his lips pressed tight together to hold back a laugh.

His voice was like rough velvet.

_Smooth_…but husky.

It sounded what I imagined a Greek god would sound like.

_Damn it Bella, you don't know him, he could be dangerous! _

I cocked my head to the side, in what I hoped looked like some sort of intimidating look and held my death grip on the blanket.

I was still a little of unsure of this guy. I wasn't going to let his looks draw me in. That would make a good plotline: Attractive ax-murderer lures woman in with good looks before he kills them.

_Oh, hell no that wasn't happening_

He stepped a little closer to me. His hands were still raised in front of his face like I was some sort of wild animal. I sunk further back into the couch, taking the blanket with me and shot him a look saying 'don't come any closer,' with my eyes. I think he got the point because he dropped his hands, and stood halfway across the room from me. He didn't try making any more moves to come closer towards me.

He still stared at me funny. He almost looked unsure, apprehensive.

He cleared his throat and looked out the window. "If anything I should be afraid of you," he laughed, scratching his head.

I cocked an eyebrow, questioningly, urging him to explain.

_Why the hell is this buff, manly-looking forest man afraid of a 120 pound year old girl?_

"Well, I'm just outside; you know working on my car when I hear this weird noise from across the forest, in the distance. It was like a-," he used his hands to make a circle-like gesture, "loud pow."

"I was listening to my radio too and my radio is pretty loud. I'm surprised I heard it over that. Well- anyway I decided not to go investigate and a few minutes later I hear a bunch of movement in the trees."

He rubbed his fingers through his hair. "Then I see this…woman, running through the forest towards my house." He avoided his eyes from me. "I was honestly scared. I've lived here by myself for years now and I've never seen anyone in these parts of the forest."

"I didn't know what you wanted or why you came here." He looked back at me now, his face with an expression I couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Then you… fell."

I felt my face redden and I looked towards the wall, trying to avoid my embarrassment. I don't know why I felt so embarrassed. He probably just thought I was some clumsy dork now.

He chuckled, probably noticing my embarrassment. "Hey, it's okay. I'm surprised you didn't fall sooner, wearing those things." He motioned to the corner of the room, where my black heels laid broken and clumped with mud and weeds on top of a pile of trash in the trashcan. "I took them off, I hope you don't mind."

That caused me to smile. This man really did seem sweet and caring.

_Bella…, the more reasonable part of my brain, growled. _

Maybe I was just always thinking the worst of people. I mean he went through the trouble to pick me up, carry me into his house and care for me, didn't he?

_Oh, wow-really? You completely just trust this man after he's said a total of like ten words to you? _

I came to his house looking for help and all I did in return was give him trouble for it. I sighed and released my death grip on the blanket. "I don't really like those shoes anyway," I said.

_Bella! You crazy son of a bi-_

I waved off all reason .

His eyes visibly widened and he played with his hands. "Yeah," he laughed, a wide smile spreading across his face. He was probably surprised I answered him. I was too.

"The million dollar question… what are you doing here In the middle of the woods." He asked, playing with his hands and avoiding my eyes now. His demeanor seemed nervous and child-like while other times he seemed confident and sure of himself. This man seemed like a complicated character.

"My car…hit a tree." I answered. _Damn, that sounded stupid._

He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "Your car hit a tree."

I nodded, feeling like the world's biggest idiot.

He laughed and walked over towards the window. "How did you manage to do that? Those trees are like 20 feet away from the road on either side."

"I-um-I'm not entirely sure."

Wow, i just keep sounding more and more like a complete loser. "I mean it just kind of- happened."

He nodded, "Pothole," he said. He kept his eyes trained on the window, only occasionally sending me a questioning glance from the corner of his eye.

_Why does he keep looking at me like that? _

"Pothole?" I asked, confused.

He nodded again, "Yeah big hole in the road right over there." He pointed beyond the trees to the road that wasn't visible. "Impossible to see at night, It's not like there's much of a point to fix it though being as no one lives in a 20 mile radius from here." He laughed, turning his attention fully back to me.

"So you came for help?"

I nodded.

He played with his hair again. Maybe he had a similar habit to me: playing and pulling at his hair when he felt nervous.

I wish his fingers were replaced with mine. I imagined his hair to be smooth, soft but feel a little clumped due to the oil. I would wash his hair with shampoo slowly, scratching his scalp, loving the feel of his hair slipping between my fingers, his small moans and sighs of appreciation.

_Wait. _

What?

_What the hell is wrong with you_!

First, you're completely terrified for your life in front of this man and now you want to have shampoo sex with his hair?

"I'm not much of a help." He sighed, breaking me from my inner thoughts.

"I have no phone and my car is completely wrecked right now. I tried to start it up to go into town the other day and the engine practically blew up. I was out yesterday working on it and I'm still working on it now."

_That's why you have oil all over your hair_.

Visions of washing his hair flooded my mind again. _No Bella, bad!_

_But- wait… did he just say he had no phone and/or no transportation?_

"Wait, how long until your car is fixed? Does no one come and visit you? Can they help me get into town? I need too-"

"Whoa, hold up," he laughed, throwing up his hands. "No one really comes to visit me honestly. I kind of moved out into the middle of the woods too avoid company at all costs."

His eyes darted around and he returned to his shy, distant exterior. His hands found their way into the pockets of his black shorts and he silently rocked back and forth. "I came out here to get rid of the constant yelling, the constant bickering, and predictable common thoughts. I just came out here to be free of thoughts in general. I am left with my mind alone here."

I wasn't quite sure what he meant. Did he feel I was intruding on him? I was just an annoying person that he didn't want 'soiling' his perfect delusional universe here in the middle of the woods where he was the only man who existed.

I felt my face burn in embarrassment once again and I looked away. I've never felt so much of a burden as I did right now. Some part of my brain was angry with this man.

I didn't choose to get into a freak accident in the middle of the Washington forest!

If he didn't want me here he should have just left me outside to die.

I scoffed and tried to get up again. I was just going to go to my car, grab my backpack and hitchhike my way to Forks at this point. I would of done it too- if it weren't for the searing pain that spread throughout my body holding me back.

I heard the clank of something against the wood and I looked down to see him running towards me, hands extended. "Whoa, Whoa, Whoa." He said, grabbing me around the shoulders with one arm and around the torso with the other. He laid be back onto the bed and frowned at me.

It reminded me of my father, Charlie, when I was still in high school, my junior year and living at his house. One time I got caught drinking outside with my friends Michael and Eric and he came home early and found out. He completely flipped out and gave me the whole 'You're the police chief's daughter' lecture. His look of disappointment was still clear as day in my mind: the furrowed brow, tight lips, angry eyes and even his moustache had an angry flair to it.

His face now faded into the man before me: the piercing green eyes, bronze-colored hair, porcelain white skin and strong, taunt jaw-line. Their features were so different yet they still held the same emotion.

_Wait, I barely knew this man and he was criticizing me like a little puppy?_

I felt my anger begin to spark up again and the wall I had let him pass slowly begin to be built up brick by brick again.

"What the hell are you trying to do? Just- Just…lay down, please!" he pleaded, pulling up the pillow behind me further for me to lay on it.

One minute this man is shy and …isolated, the next he is completely protective and dominating. I was completely scared and almost wildly intrigued at the same time.

"Just try to rest for a while and don't move. I gave you a few pain killers a while ago so it you should start to feel better, if you stop moving that is."

_He gave me pills?_

Shit, I must have been really out of it. I don't remember any of that. "What happened to me," I asked, gesturing towards my body. Once he finished fixing my pillow and pulling up my blanket, he backed away, almost as if trying not to upset me with his close proximity. He coughed. "You-um, you fell…as you know and I couldn't see your injuries in the dark so I didn't get a good look until I was inside. "You had a few minor scrapes and cuts on your arms and legs …but then I saw the blood begin to spread on your dress." He coughed again and his eyes raced around the room. "I lifted up your dress to…you know- inspect the damage and I saw a good size gash on your side. "I stitched it right up; it wasn't even really that big. Good thing I went to medical school and I have medical supplies on hand, right?" He chuckled nervously.

This was too much to process.

_Did he just say he gave me stiches? _

_He unclothed me?_

I looked down and noticed I was wearing a large, black t-shirt with white font that said "The Rolling Stones" on it. It was covered in like five different colors of paint and had a weird, earthy smell to it.

"I threw your dress away too. It was too tight and constricted against your stitches and plus it was covered in blood and pretty much ruined."

_He saw me in my bra and underwear!_

I tried to remember what I put on the day before. Oh god no… please tell me I wasn't wearing my nerdy Pokémon underwear, ugh, the ones with Pikachu all over the front and back.

For the millionth time that day, I felt my face burn from embarrassment.

"You fainted you know," he said. "I thought you hit your head but there weren't any visible injuries."

I couldn't really remember much of last night. It all seemed like a weird whited-out haze. All I remember is the cold air biting at my skin as I dodged the trees as I ran and the faint light in the distance which I was running too. I also remember bits and pieces of the crash. I remember the impact and the horrible sounds the car made as it scraped against the tree.

I didn't remember much of the fall itself though. I must of seen blood somewhere and freaked out. I was pretty squeamish; I always have been. The sight of blood made me feel sick to my stomach and there were a few select times that it actually caused me to faint.

At this point, there was probably no way to look like a bigger loser in front of this man. I was a clumsy stranger who hit her car into a tree 20-feet away from the road, fell and fainted in front of his house and had to have him carry me in, got blood all over my clothes and had to wear his shirt, was wearing Pikachu underwear, and worst of all I was intruding into his little world that he 'created 'for himself.

He wanted to be left alone, that's why he chose to live in the middle of the Washington Forest with no civilization for miles on either end.

Why would he choose to live here though? Was he anti-social or just one of those nomads looking for a world outside of itself, a bigger purpose?

Maybe he just enjoyed the quiet and the peace that came along with it?

It was quiet here…, maybe _too_ quiet.

The sounds of leaves and the small twinkling of the stream against the rocks outside the window were the only sounds. After a while the silence would feel deafening.

I wonder if he ever felt lonely or sad, If he felt alone against the world out here.

I knew the feeling.

Sometimes, even if you were in a big room, full of people, you felt alone. Maybe that's why he came out here, to escape the pressure of trying to blend, fit with people.

I was always known as the weird Arizona girl when I first moved here. I would walk the crowded hallways and hear the foreign voices and all I wanted was to be in some far out place alone by myself. My mother and her new boyfriend, Phil, sent me to live with my father, here in Washington, so they could travel around the country to support his minor-league baseball career. My mother wasn't really one for commitments so it was nice to see her attached to one man and not having 'casual relationships'.

My mother was a floater as I liked to call her. Her mind was always wandering into distinct places and different situations. She never liked to stay in the same place for long. It made her feel bored and trapped and that was no way to live life, she used to say. Life is about making yourself happy against all costs and if you aren't happy… cut yourself off from all the negative things bringing you down.

That's just what she did. One day she left my father and moved us down to Phoenix, Arizona. Charlie's nice it's just he can also be described as very simple, complete opposite of Renee. He always wears the same type of clothes, flannel over shirts. He goes down to Frank's barbershop every Wednesday and gets the same tapered-sided haircut and goes to eat at the same diner downtown every single night for dinner.

Living with him was nice. It was… simple. I would make him dinner sometimes and we would talk about the police station and about school and then I'd go upstairs to go to sleep. It continued in a circular pattern for my last two years of high school until I graduated and moved out into my apartment with my best friend, Jasper.

I lived with Jasper for about a year until he started dating his now fiancée, Alice. Jasper was the first person I ever talked to when I moved and we've been best friends ever since. He moved out about a year later to live with Alice, leaving me alone to an empty apartment.

I hated the feeling of being alone now. I wonder how this man must feel to constantly be alone, to not even hear the sound of a car honking down the street or have a casual conversation with anyone even if it's for a few moments.

_Did I even know this man's name?_

As if to read my mind, the man spoke. "You know, we got off on an awfully weird foot," he chuckled which made my stomach do some weird flip.

He stepped closer and extended his hand to me. "Hello, I'm Edward."

Edward.

The bronze-haired man is Edward. I saw a flash of pictures go through mine: the eyes, face, small specs of oil in hair, that earthy smell, the tight shirt that clung to his body and rippled over his stomach. It all had a label

_Edward._

"Bell-Isabella," I stuttered, tentatively reaching my hand out to shake his.

He eyes me curiously again. He still looked almost afraid of me. I wanted to come out and ask him why? Had I come across as hard and intimidating to him?

He then smiled a small, polite smile, "nice to meet you Isabella."

"Bella"

He raised an eyebrow.

"I-um, like to be called Bella."

His smile widened, exposing his perfectly whitened teeth. "Nice to meet you _Bella_," he breathed, a little louder than a whisper.

The way his name fell from my lips sounded like he's known me for years. He sounded like a best friend I've known since I was a young child or a lover who held me and whispered my name into my ear. It felt safe. It felt… familiar.

I wanted nothing more than for him to say it again.

I shook my head to get myself out of the haze. "Thank you for saving me." I said, staring into his eyes as he came closer to bend down on one knee in front of me.

He stood kneeled before me. Silence filled the room.

I felt my heart beat in my throat.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

I swore I heard the sound echo off the walls of the cabin.

His bright green eyes bore into mine, desperately seeking for something. He looked so sad at that moment that I just wanted to fall on top of him and hold him on the wooden floor and hold him til he felt alright.

I wanted to make him feel okay again.

I was angry at this man, scared of him, but I couldn't help but…care for him? Feel _something_ for him.

It was _terrifying._

His tentative hand slowly reached up to touch my cheek. His touch burned into my skin and I could of cried at the sensation. I felt reborn, renewed. I wanted more of his touch. I craved it, like a man lost in the desert without water. I wanted all of my skin to _burn_

I wanted to know it would be alright. I wanted him to make me feel okay again too. I forgot what it felt like, if I even felt it before.

His hand stroked my searing skin softly, like a whisper.

"You're different Bella. I just- You're so hard to read." He said quietly, matching his gentle touch.

His face looked pained with tight eyes and a clenched jaw. I wanted nothing more to kiss his insecurity about whatever he was thinking away, to make it never return again.

His touch moved south to trace the faint scratches on my arm.

"I feel very protective of you," He whispered.

I brought my hand to caress his cheek as he had done to me earlier. His eyelids fluttered close and he let out a shaky breath. I thought a heard a small moan. Which one of us it came from, I wasn't sure.

I felt fuel being thrown into my fire. My body and mind were being slowly being consumed by something bigger than me, bigger than Edward, bigger than I've ever known. I was being swallowed whole, drowning in it.

I caught sight of his green eyes and knew. His look said it all.

He was drowning along with me...and he was terrified


	3. Cabin in the woods

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters

* * *

Chapter 3: Cabin in the woods

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.

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Edward and I just sat on the couch and talked. We talked about his car, the forest, the nearby town of Forks, where I lived in La Push until the sky turned a shade of dark orange and the sun fell silently beyond the trees.

He sat up from his spot besides me on the couch. "I think you need your rest." He said, sounding more like a statement than a question. He pulled the blankets up that had bunched around my feet and whispered a quiet 'goodnight' before walking down the hallway and disappearing behind the last door.

He left the window open and a small breeze from outside floated inside and around the room. It was cold but I had a lot of blankets and I found myself being rather comfortable. However, I still couldn't get to sleep.

During the night I would turn and become restless. I kept getting these thoughts in my head, Jasper specifically. What if he thought I flaked out of his rehearsal? Maybe he would call my phone and wonder where I was. He would know something was up. Maybe the police were all around the Washington state looking for me already.

My grip on the blanket tightened and I felt silent tears fall down my cheeks.

Or maybe he didn't call.

Maybe, he thought I just didn't show up and he was angry with me.

What if nobody noticed I was gone?

No one at all…

Other things filled my head as I laid awake.

Visions of Edward

His soothing, gentle touch, so gentle my mind was having a hard time comprehending if it existed in the first place.

_Too perfect_

I traced the scratches on my arm like he did yesterday, trying to reenact the sensation.

It was real though.

I remembered it perfectly: his eyes as they burned into mine, his fingers sprawling out over my skin a little tentative but growing bolder as they progressed, his breath coming out shaky.

It _was_ real; I remember.

Tonight, I was almost sure he would try to kiss me.

I felt his breath, warm and inviting on my cheek and his hands traveling around my arms. It was so intimate, so _familiar._

He just continued to trace my scars and then just stood up.

Like that, he stood and walked away.

He walked down the hallway and I heard the faint creak of an opened door.

I could of screamed in frustration. He practically had me like his pathetic, desire-filled, little puppet and he walked away from me. My skin still burned from where he touched me and I covered my face into my palms and groaned.

_Get a hold of yourself! What's happening to you? _

A man I barely knew had this much power over me.

I've never felt so captivated by such small advances. It felt raw and all-consuming and honestly—it was scary as hell how much I wanted it.

He came back towards me from the hallway, carrying a couple blankets in his arms. He walked over to the couch and unfolded them on top me and secured them around my legs. He then went to the opposite side of the couch, where my feet didn't reach and sat down, bending down to remove his red sneakers.

He almost acted as if that touch-that moment, didn't even exist.

That touch was so intimate; His words were _intimate, _I knew it was.

He didn't look at me and didn't acknowledge what happened mere seconds ago between us.

It was infuriating.

I was there. He was there. Was he really trying to get away with just ignoring that feeling we felt together or just playing it off as just 'checking my injuries' or something like that?

He told me I was 'hard to read' and that he 'felt protective of me.'

Why would he feel protective of some strange woman that he has never met before?

My insecurities came crashing down on me.

Maybe he would feel protective of anyone actually, protective as in cared about their injuries and well-being. If any other girl came running up and tripped in front of his house, he'd feel the same thing for any of them, to make sure they were alright. It was just my desired-clouded mind.

At the end of the day, I was just a fool. I was a fool to think that man was feeling something so strong like that as I was at that moment. It was just disorientated thinking, overwhelmed with desire for his touch. He only cared about my well-being as any respectable person would.

I looked over to him, as he laid down against the head of the couch, staring out towards the window with a blank look on his face. He looked almost content but I couldn't have been sure.

I remembered his face when we're inches from each other on the couch, his scared but entranced expression.

Entranced by me

It felt like we were being drowned by some type of force together, watching as we slowly got deeper and deeper incased in it and doing nothing to fight it off.

In actuality, he was watching me as I slowly drifted alone.

He said it himself. He came out here in the middle of nowhere to escape people. This man was a loner; he enjoyed being alone. _How could he possibly care for you?_

The realization cut deep.

I felt weak. He made me feel week. A feeling I wasn't familiar with.

I resented him for making me feel this way, for making me feel beautiful feelings then just ripping them away like they didn't exist.

I clung tighter to my blanket and pressed my head further into my pillow, willing the thoughts to stop.

It was a long day and my body was beyond exhaustion at this point. I felt weak physically to match the weakening of my mental state. My eyes began to feel heavy. I struggled to keep them open until I finally surmised to my long, uneventful night of sleep.

When morning came, the light from the window crept across the room and casted itself on the couch. It caused me to stir and drag the blankets off my body.

I groaned and rubbed my eyes as the light hit me like a blinding wall. I closed my eyes and dragged the blanket over my head to block out the light.

It was _way_ too early to wake up yet.

I could tell from the outside window because the sky was still foggy and waking up itself. It looked as if it was just only a little while after sunrise.

There was a faint growling sound deep in my stomach. I ignored it and continued on trying to get back to sleep. The growling noise became louder and more persistent. A sharp pain came along with it, an empty ache.

This time the pain was not caused by my fall; it was caused my hunger. I realized it had been more than 24 hours since I last ate. Even when I last ate, it was just a quick burrito I got through the Del Taco drive-thru that I got right before the wedding rehearsal.

I licked my lips at the thought.

Even crappy fast food sounded like heaven on a plate right now.

My stomach growled again, impatiently.

_Okay, I need food._

_Now_

I moved my arms behind me and used my hands to push me off the couch. I clenched my teeth in anticipation for the pain, but none came.

_Those pain killers must have really worked, wow. _

I pushed myself off the couch a little further before swinging my legs over the side and standing up on the warm, knitted rug that laid on the floor. A faint sense of strain pulled at my legs and arms indicating the pain was still evident but substantially lessened. I smiled as I glided my feet along the soft material of the rug. I already felt a million times better than I did yesterday.

I smelt the faint smell of eggs lingering in the air. My stomach growled.

My body mindlessly stalked towards the smell that came from down the hallway, like a tiger stalking its prey.

The smell was coming from behind the first door in the hallway.

I tentatively reached my hand out to turn the doorknob. The door opened with a large _creaking _noise.

There on the other side of the door was a small, black and white tiled kitchen with faded blue walls. It was a pretty standard kitchen complete with the stove, fridge, countertops and cupboards. There was a small, wood table in the corner with two chairs across the table from each other.

Well, the attractive, bronze-haired man holding a spatula wasn't standard kitchen décor.

The creek of the door caused him to spin around from his place in front of the stove. He smiled a large, dazzling smile and put the spatula on the countertop. "Good morning," he said, wiping his hands on the front of his pants.

"Morning," I said, pulling one of the chairs out. "What are you making, smells good."

I internally laughed at myself. Here I was walking into a stranger's kitchen and acting like I was his roommate he's known for years. At the moment I didn't care about my boldness I just really needed food, _soon._

He picked the spatula up again and slid something onto a plate, "Omelets."

I felt my tongue come out and lick my bottom lip and my stomach growled appreciatively.

He walked over and slid a plate in front of me and sat in the other chair. I didn't need for him to say anything else before I took my first bite.

_Oh god_

I took another bite, then another, then another.

"Whoa. I was going to ask if you liked eggs or not but I guess I didn't have to ask." He chuckled, and I watched as he poked and moved his food around with his fork, not really eating anything.

Normally I would be embarrassed to be eating like a 300-pound man but at the moment I couldn't really seem to care. I was so hungry and the food tasted _so _good.

Okay so he went to medical school, did he go to cooking school too?

This food was beyond anything I've ever tasted. It was soft, but not too soft and had this amazing, strange flavor I didn't even stop eating until my fork hit the empty plate.

When I finally looked up, I saw Edward still picking at his almost full plate and eyeing me curiously.

I felt my cheeks burn under his gaze, "what?"

"I like watching you eat, it's quite fascinating."

I wasn't quite sure how my face looked at that moment but I'm pretty sure it resembled something between being creeped out or confused.

_Did he just say he likes watching me eat?_

He dropped his fork and it clanged loudly on his plate. He fumbled around trying to receive it, now avoiding my gaze. "I-um mean it's interesting to see your emotions towards th-the food, like—if you're enjoying it or not."

He coughed and picked nervously at his food, continuing not to look at me. I raised an eyebrow at him and watched as he just sat eating his omelet in silence.

_Ok now he's going to be awkward and all socially-distant again. _

This man's different personalities were becoming confusing and exhausting. One moment his hand is against my cheek and he's almost about to kiss me and the next he's on the opposite side of the couch or playing with his omelet trying to pretend I'm not here. His constant mood swings were giving me whiplash.

Silence descended for a few minutes besides the small clang of his fork hitting the plate and the soft hum of the refrigerator.

"Like I said, you're just so hard to read," He said breaking the silence. His voice was sad and a little louder than a whisper. Just that sad, desperation in his voice alone almost broke my heart.

"What do you mean by hard to read?"

He sighed and set his fork down, pushing the rest of his omelet away from him. He rested his elbow against the table and leaned his head against his hand. His eyes raised to look at me and the green looked almost softened, less vibrant that normal. Even his eyes looked sad.

"I never know what you're thinking or what you're feeling, it's frustrating." His hand he was resting on tightened into a fist and he scrunched his eyes tight. "I'm so good at reading people."

His eyes flew open and grabbed my attention. They were burning into mine so intensely it almost hurt. The sharp green in his eyes hypnotized me, pulled me in.

"Not you." He said suddenly, standing up and pushing his chair back so hard it hit the wall with a large, _whack, _causing me to jump. The chair almost went straight through the wall. The kitchen shook and the plates on the table bounced softly.

He pulled at his hair and closed his eyes. "Sorry, sorry," he said pushing the chair back with his foot. He walked over and sat on the counter, putting his head into his hands, taking long, deep breaths to try and calm himself down.

_What was that all about?_

I felt my heartbeat increase and I wrapped my arms around my legs protectively. I wasn't sure if Edward was violent or not. I've only known him for a little more than twenty four hours and I didn't know him and what he was capable of.

What if he was violent? I had no way of escape and he was twice my size. He could hold me back with one of his arms if he wanted to.

I didn't even know why he was angry!

"Im sorry," he whispered from across the kitchen.

I didn't respond, my whole body tensed as I continued to hug my legs close to me in the fetal position.

He sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just…_frustrating. _You have no idea."

I had no idea what he was talking about. Did he not see me hugging myself and silently shaking in fear? How in the hell was I hard to read? He could see the tears stream down my face and tell I was sad. He could see the smile on my face and know I was happy. I was an open book. I was easy to read

Maybe being alone in the middle of the forest so long has affected him. He's become oblivious to human characteristics he's become unknowing and socially-indifferent.

He was just confused.

The look in his eyes was the same as before. Sad and distant, softened green irises.

He was just a puppy; a puppy who would tear at your sofa and rip the cushions. He was just a puppy. Maybe he didn't know any better.

We just sat across the kitchen from each other in complete silence. It became almost frightening just to sit there and not hear anything from him while he sat with his head in his hands. I was almost desperate for him to say something, anything at all just to hear something besides heavy breathing and the hum of the fridge.

"I'm going to go outside and work on the car," he jumped off the counter and started walking out of the kitchen.

_Well, that wasn't exactly what I was hoping for._

He was leaving me alone in the house.

He was leaving me with absolutely nothing to do. He had no television, no computer, and no cell phone as far as I know.

He walked out of the kitchen and left me alone with nothing better to do than be left alone with my thoughts.

I heard the click of the screen door closing and the swish of his sneakers on the wet ground as he walked to the driveway outside.

I decided this was a good opportunity to check out the rest of the house. I haven't really seen much besides the kitchen and the living room I've been resting in. I got up from the chair and quickly scrubbed the breakfast plates Edward and I used and put them in the dish rack. I wiped my hands off with the dishtowel and looked through the small kitchen window to see Edward leaning over the front of his truck.

The only thing visible was his upper-back and down on; his head and shoulders were completely emerged into the front of the truck, working on something. He was wearing a normal, white t-shirt that already was covered in what looked like dried oil from a previous time before today.

I couldn't help but stand and admire him for a moment. His muscles flexed and strained under the thin, white material as he struggled to work on something near the engine. The tiny sounds of his strain were audible out the open slit of the window, tiny groans and grunting sounds. I could of almost laughed at the absurdity of it. He looked like a cover of a 'playgirl' magazine.

I groaned, annoyed.

_How is that man even real, it's not fair! _

If I was being forced to be stuck with a strange man in the middle of the forest for hell knows how long and not be able to touch him, I wished he wasn't so damn good looking.

_That's so a lie_

I chuckled to myself.

_Yeah…_

There was nothing wrong with just looking.

Looking was fine.

I watched as he jumped down from the car onto the ground and wiped at the thin, layer of sweat gathering on his forehead. His auburn hair was tangled and wildly spun in every which way and direction.

Looking was…nice.

He turned around and saw me looking at him through the window. He gave me a small smile and waved once.

_Busted_

I felt the heat begin to rise in my neck and cheeks. I timidly waved to him and pretended to act like I was still cleaning the dishes in the sink so he didn't think I was standing there gawking at him. He continued to smile a little bit before turning back around and bending over and looking for something in his tool bag.

I normally praised myself on being confident, cool and collected but something in Edward had be surmising into my previous, clumsy, awkward schoolgirl days. He was the sexy boy in auto shop and I was that girl sitting against the wall, doodling cartoons into her notebook. _Sigh_

He then walked over and began to play with something in front of the car again.

I figured this was a good time to go snoop—I mean look around his house, make sure he didn't have any type of violent weapon arsenal or anything.

I walked out of the kitchen and ended up in the long narrow hallway which for being such a long hallway, only had two doors on either side. The first door on the left was the kitchen, I mentally noted. I walked across the hallway to the other side and turned the doorknob.

I closed one eye, afraid to see something I may not want to see. The door opened and I released a breath of air I didn't know I was holding. It was a bit anti-climactic; it was just a closet. It didn't have any guns, or a satchel with knifes and shirikens. It was just a closet, a normal one.

It had cleaning materials and toiletries like I had back home at the apartment. All of the things were a little manlier than mine though: men's shaving cream and pine-scented body soap. I backed away and closed the closet. I felt kind of bad looking through his personal things like that.

I continued to travel down the hallway to the second door on the left side. Without thinking, I opened the door. A strong, gust of an earthy-like smell hit me. It was welcoming, relaxing—familiar.

_Edward_

I looked around.

_Edward's room _

I cracked the door open just enough to let myself through. The room was fairly simple: It had a large, kind-sized iron frame bed in the middle with a large green comforter and black pillows, a dark-colored wood dresser and a closet with a mirrored door. The walls were a deep blue color, darker than the kitchen, and the floor was simple wood like the living room.

The whole theme had a very earthy and calming effect about it.

I dragged my attention back to the bed. It looked so comfortable and inviting with one of the nice comforters that molded around you when you laid on top of it. I wanted just to go lay down for just a second. It was going to be quick just to, you know…test out my theory.

I took a step closer towards the bed and froze. I got this weird vision of Edward walking into the room and seeing me sprawled out of top of his bed. How embarrassing would that be? I cringed at the thought and slowly backed out of his room and into the hallway.

There was only one door I haven't opened, the last door on the right. _So this must be the—_ I turned the knob and slowly opened the door. _Yup, bathroom. _

The bathroom was small with orange walls and cracked white tiles on the floor. It was pretty different from the rest of the house; It was bright and lively while the other rooms were more contemporary and nature-y in coloring. The most appealing part of the bathroom though—was the shower. I swore I saw a ray of light around it. My skin felt grimy, dirty and screamed for the soothing feeling of warm water.

I turned my head over my shoulder to make sure Edward wasn't in the house. _Would he mind if I used his shower? _I looked back over to the shower that was standing there, calling me.

_Oh, to hell with it. I'm going in. _

Before I got into the shower, I quickly used the bathroom and stripped off the large, tattered t-shirt Edward had put on me that day before. I pulled it off my body and involuntarily breathed in his smell as it passed my nose, to be pulled over my head. I stripped off the rest of my clothing and threw it into a heap in the corner of the room.

Stepping into the shower, I reached over and pulled down the red knob that had 'H' on it. The water immediately came out from the shower head and hit my skin. The water was cold as first but slowly became warmer. I played with the 'H' and 'C' knobs until I had the perfect temperature. Once I had the perfect temperature, I could have cried out it felt so good. The water almost felt like it was working its way into my skin and carrying out all the pain and ache on my limbs from the last couple of days. The warmth of the water also helped sooth with the small line of stiches Edward had done down my side.

I looked down and examined them for the first time. There was a small, faint line of pink highly exaggerated by the surrounding pale skin. They were small and minor and looked expertly done. It made me wonder why Edward didn't follow through in the medical profession; I mean he told me he went to medical school. Why did he choose to live out here instead?

I wondered what he did for money. He told me he rarely went into town and when he did it was solely to get supplies like food and tools. Plus he told me he tries to avoid human contact at all costs.

So many questions left unanswered.

I tried to get Edward out of my head as I reached over and grabbed the shampoo bottle and applied a small amount into my hand. It was clean and fresh smelling and I sighed as I scrubbed it into my hair. I applied conditioner when I was done and scrubbed my body all over with the body wash, careful not to bend over and irritate the stiches.

When the water began to run cold, I turned the faucet off and reached for the towel hanging over the shower curtain line. I wrapped the soft, cotton over me, still careful to not apply to much pressure to my side.

It was then when I was standing in the middle of the bathroom, I froze.

_Oh, shit I have no clothes._

I looked over to the dirty underwear and t-shirt laying in a clumped mess on the floor. My nose cringed at the thought of having to put my clean body into those clothes again. I've been lying in them for the last couple of days and they smelled like sweat and dirt.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door. I yelped and grabbed my towel tight; making sure it was secure around my body.

"Ye—yes?"

"Bella, it's me, Edward." He let out a small chuckle, "I didn't mean to frighten you."

I wanted to say something but I felt my mouth go dry. Here I was standing in nothing but a towel in the middle of a strange man's bathroom and I couldn't help but feel a little embarrsed.

When I didn't respond he quickly added, "I um, heard the shower turn off and thought you might like some clean clothes to change into?"

_Yes! _

"Yeah," I squeaked out, as I took a tentative step towards the door and opened it just a crack large enough to fit the clothing through. He handed me the clothes and I quickly closed the door, so he didn't see me through the mirror with nothing but a towel on. Hopefully if he saw my face he would mistake my blush from the heat of the shower.

I made sure the door was locked before I turned around and dropped my towel to the floor and examined the stack of folded clothing he handed me. He gave me a large, blue and black striped t-shirt, a pair of black sweatpants and black boxers.

_Wait, boxers?_

I looked down at them again. _Why would he give me boxers? _

Past the clothing in my hand I noticed my pile of dirty laundry laying on the floor. I saw my underwear and bra laying on top of his 'rolling stones' t-shirt that was covered in paint. My attention landed on the pair of underwear.

_Oh_

He probably assumed I wouldn't want to wear my dirty underwear. I don't think it was humanly possible for me to get any more red as I was at that moment. _Would it be weird if I wore them? _

_Oh come on Bella, they're just underwear, a necessity. It's not like he's offering you a token of his love. _

I let out a frustrated sigh and slipped them on, along with the sweatpants. I also put on my bra and the red t-shirt he gave me. When I was done I looked in the mirror. I had dark circles under my eyelids and my skin was paler than it normally was. My hair was wavy and tangled and my exposed neck looked slightly scraped in some places, from the crash or from the fall.

I laughed at that. I didn't even know which bruises and scrapes came from what. I _would _be the type of girl to get into a freak, high-impact car accident then trip so bad I would have to get stiches…all in a ten minute time span.

I saw Edward had a hair brush laying down on top of the shelf above the sink. I grabbed it and started tugging at the knots in my hair and threw some cold water onto my face from the sink when I was done. I took a step back and looked into the mirror again. My hair was tangle-free and laid down across one of my shoulders and my eyes looked more alive. I smiled a small smile at my reflection.

_Eh, better._

I picked up his t-shirt and my underwear off the floor and slowly turned the doorknob. I don't know why I always felt the need to be quiet in his house. Maybe I felt if I had no other choice but to intrude on him then I could at least just pretend I wasn't here. I mean it wouldn't take long to fix his car right? I wouldn't be staying here for much longer anyway, maybe two, three days tops.

When I entered the hallway, it was absolutely silent. I couldn't even hear him working outside on the truck or anything like I did earlier. I froze and clutched the clothes tighter to my chest. I hated this, _hated_ it. I hated being stuck in this place, with this strange man and being afraid of everything I say and do. I hated being dependent on a stranger to help me find my way back home. I hated the feeling of the unknown.

I took a deep breath and made my way down the hallway into the wooded-wall room where I've been staying. When I entered I was surprised to see Edward sitting on the far side of the couch with his head resting on the arm rest. As soon I stepped into the room, my feet hit against the old wood and it let out a small _creak_, Edward immediately looked up into my direction. He gave me a small smile and pulled himself up to sit straight on the couch.

His hair was matted and unruly, even more than normal. Surprisingly though, he wasn't covered in any new oil like he usually was after working on the truck.

I returned his smile, a little nervously, "Hey."

He stretched his arms over the couch and his small smile broke into a large, grin showing off his perfectly, white teeth, "Hi."

I realized then that I was still holding the clothes in my hand, Pokémon- underwear notably visible. _Of course I would choose the day to wear the novelty underwear the day I got stranded at a strange, hot man's house with only one pair of underwear. Curse Jasper and his bad Christmas presents!_

I walked over to the opposite side of the couch from where he sat and shoved them underneath me. I sat cross-legged and forced myself not to look at the handsome stranger sitting across from me. I could hear the quiet sounds of his breathing.

After a while of just silence, he spoke. "Bella…I'm—sorry for my behavior at breakfast."

The sound of his voice out of nowhere caused me to jump and I mentally groaned at myself for being so skittish.

He stared at me expectantly; his mouth looked as if it were fighting of a frown.

"You're scared of me now, aren't you?" He asked, rubbing his eyelids with the palms of his hands. He looked defeated, annoyed with himself.

_Was I afraid of him? _

I thought of the pain of the hard, forest floor against my skin and the feeling of being weightless, him carrying me off into safety. I thought of the food he fed me, the shower and clothes, the kind words he told me. I thought of when he laughed and his body shook and his eyes lit up.

Of course there was no more rational part of my brain; the part that said 'you've only known this man for a couple days and you were basically unconsciously for the majority of the time.'

I didn't know anything about Edward. I didn't know what he was like when he was angry; I didn't know what he was capable of.

That thing that happened in the kitchen this morning was just a small glimpse into his angry side. He got angered out of nowhere, completely random. For all I know, this man could be a violent bi-polar physcopath.

It would make sense.

That's why he decided to live out here in the forest, alone.

But then I remembered that night.

That night when we were on the couch together. The night when I felt his fingers burn into my skin and his eyes capturing me, The night where I couldn't think straight because It felt like I was slowly being consumed by the feeling of him, That night I wanted him to kiss me.

_Was I afraid of Edward? _

"No," I blurted out subconsciously.

His eyes flew open and his hands were on either side of his face.

"No?"

"No, I'm…not scared of you."

He slowly let his hands fall down into his lap and he let out a small, sad smile.

"You don't have to lie Bella. I wouldn't blame you." His voice even sounded sad and defeated.

He genuinely thought I was lying to him.

I shook my head. "No, No I'm not scared of you." I wanted him to believe me. I turned my body so I was facing him. "I'm not lying."

His eyes burned into mine. It was intense, I found myself struggling not to blink.

He sighed and removed his eyes from mine. I frowned at the loss of contact between us.

"I'm sorry. It's just weird, strange to me. I don't understand it and it _scares_ me." By the end of his sentence, he was barely talking loud enough to hear. I had to lean in closer to him on the couch to make out his words.

"What scares you?"

He was silent.

One of his hands made its way into his hair and tugged. It almost looked painful what he was doing and I wanted to remove his hands. I was starting to notice that he always abused his hair when he was anxious or nervous about something.

"Edward," I whispered, trying to coax him into telling me what he was afraid of. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand was moving towards his side of the couch and reaching for his hand that was in his hair. I removed him hand and laid in on the couch between us and rubbed soothing circles against his palm.

I thought I heard a small whimper escape his throat.

"You," he said.

_Me?_

"I'm scared of you, well the _lack _of you."

I raised my eyebrow in question. _What did that even mean?_

"Like I said, you're different… I've never encountered anything like it before."

I looked down and saw I was still absentmindedly rubbing his palm. "I-I don't understand."

Before I knew what was happening, Edward was off the couch and he was pulling me along with him. His hand held onto mine tightly as we walked, more like jogged to and out past the screen door to the outside.

"I need to show you something, It will help you understand."

The cold morning air hit me like a wall and I wrapped the arm Edward didn't have, around my body for warmth. My feet were barefoot but thankfully, Edward's backyard was mostly just soft, grass. The grass though was wet and tickled my feet as we kept running.

"Edward, where are we going?" I asked him as he ran in front of me, still pulling me along with him.

The rational part of my brain felt a small sense of fear.

He ignored me and kept running through the meadow, never loosening his grip on my hand.

We ran a little farther before he stopped us.

"There," he said.

I looked up from the ground to see a dark, brown barn building surrounded by tall weeds and vines, in the distance.

"What is it?"

He looked at me and smiled, "C'mon."

We then began to walk towards the building.

I wondered what that possibly could be. Why was it so important to show me, why now? Maybe it was a tool shed where he kept the things for maintenance around the house or supplies he's been saving for some type of…I don't know, end of the world apocalypse?

_How was that relevant to me though? _

Before I knew it, Edward and I were standing in front of the building's door. I saw him inhale a large breath and look over to me and smile encouragingly.

"You know, you're the first person that's even seen this."

Before I could respond, he slid open the barn door and pulled me inside.


	4. Blank spaces

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all its characters

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Chapter 4: Blank Spaces

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With the door pulled closed, all light immediately flooded from the room, leaving us alone with nothing but the darkness.

A sharp, pang of fear traveled down my spine.

"Ed-Edward," I stuttered, my voice catching in my throat.

"Yeah?"

I felt him start tugging me forward towards the other side of the barn with his hand that was still firmly wrapped around mine.

_Oh god no. _

"I, um—I don't think…"

The nerves were now violently rippling throughout my body, causing me to physically shake. I wanted to go back to the house, where it was safe, where it felt familiar to me. I didn't want to be alone with him in this creepy looking barn where he liked to keep hidden in the back of his property, covered up by the pine trees. I didn't want to know these deep, terrifying 'secrets' he was so desperate to show me.

It was a single thought throughout my mind.

_Run…_

_Run_

I looked behind me to the door which had a small strand of light coming from the side, the only thing visible in the room which was unbearably pitch black.

I could slide that door open easily and run back to the house.

Was I really willing to stay and take the chance to see what he wanted to show me? For all I know this could be a weird, torture room he likes to use on small, helpless brunettes that wonder into him in the woods.

I gulped.

Or worse…

I tried to keep the jumbled images out of my head of the terrible, terrible things this room had the potential of having.

I felt his hand tug me again encouragingly. He was walking across the floor, the squish of his sneakers resonating off the walls and sending another chill down my spine.

_Squeak_

_Squeak_

_Squeak_

It was a torturess sound when you couldn't see his movement, where he was headed. It was all my brain could do was to focus on the sound as my vision was impaired.

I also focused on the sensation of the cold, dirt floor and how it felt beneath my bare feet. I was gliding along it almost willingly as my body fell, rigid and submissive to Edward and how he soothingly encouraged me along with him across the room.

I quickly gathered my bearings.

_Wait what am I doing!_

_I need to get out of here_

_Now_

I took a long breath and pulled my hand out of his. Before I knew what happened, I was running backwards, stumbling and my back was hard against the wall.

The sound of something metallic hitting the ground and the sharp echo rang throughout the building. I screamed when I felt something cold and wet land on the tops of my feet.

I kept screaming, flinging my body against the wall in a desperate attempt to hide myself, make myself disappear. I felt tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. I felt pathetic, weak and vulnerable. All the things I hated to feel; I rarely ever felt.

I wanted to be back in my old, shitty apartment wrapped up by myself in a blanket lying down on my couch I've had since I was a teenager. I hated never knowing what was around the corner, what was to come next. I was so used to everything in my life. My life was predictable and simple, it was nice. It was bearable. Everything stayed the same. It was what I like to call 'reliable'.

Now I was thrown head first into this fucked up situation where I had to be scared of every little detail this man came at me with; every little mannerism of his I had to analyze. I was constantly living in fear and self-doubt. I had to be afraid of everything I said and every action around this place.

"Bella!"

Following the sounds of his sneakers retreating back to me, One of his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me flush against him. We were so close our chests were touching. His breath was hard and labored, fanning across my face.

"Are you ok?" He asked, he fumbled around with my body looking for my shoulder before gripping it and shaking me slightly.

When I didn't respond, he pulled me back against him again.

"Bella, Bella please it's alright," he was whispering into my hair, desperate sounding.

Suddenly light filled the room and I looked up in surprise to see Edward looking down at me, still clutching me to his chest with a lantern in his other hand.

It was then that I became aware of a harsh, strong smell that lingered in the air. It was musty and spelled almost like a mixture of permanent marker and copper. The smell frightened me and I felt my body go cold, and rigid against his.

My heart was slamming so wildly in my chest, I was afraid it might surpass my ribcage.

Sensing my fear, he turned me with him till we were staring at a wall of the barn.

"It's alright," he repeated, motioning towards the empty shelves on the wall and the contents on the floor. There were several metallic tins and various colors of paint splattered and speared onto the wall and ground, All over my feet as well.

"Paint," I said out loud. The relief was visible in my features as I slowly melted against him. I looked up to see him gazing down at me intently, gauging my emotions. His free arm was still wrapped around my torso pulling me to him.

_Oh_

I untangled myself from his embrace, feeling my face turn scarlet.

I looked down at the paint again. _Well that would explain the smell._

I sighed, letting out a breath of air I wasn't aware I was holding.

_It's just paint_

_Just paint_

I turned back to him but was met with his back facing towards me.

He was on the other side of the room, looking at the wall.

That's when I saw it.

The light from the lantern scattered and danced along one wall of the barn, illuminating the various water-color drawings and sketches. It seemed there were hundreds of different colors, all different hues and shades.

There were pictures of people.

Lots of people

They were all jumbled and meshed together in abstract form. It was discombobulated and messy looking but at the same time simply…beautiful.

Some people only had their faces showing and their bodies covered or vice versa as they were covered by someone else in the crowd.

Every single person seems to have a personal flair to them, no one person exactly like another. Some people had more glorified traits than another while some were more normal and glorified in other aspects.

_Beautiful _

I stepped across the room until I was besides Edward, all fear drained from my body and replaced with pure awe.

"What is this," I whispered, not taking my eyes off the paintings.

Now stepping closer, I could make out more small details of the drawings and the blank space across the other side of the canvas which was blank and vacant with no paint.

"What I wanted to show you," he said and I felt him turns towards me. "I hoped this would help you understand."

I looked at him and furrowed my brow.

_Understand what? _

_Understand why he says I'm hard to read? _

I looked back at the paintings and stared hard, almost as if trying to un-jumble a large puzzle. I squinted hard looking for some type of 'secret code' or message sprawled out anywhere on the large canvas.

"I don't understand."

He exhaled and walked closer to the wall, which held the canvas.

"It's all madness," he said, "Look at the way the people move and express themselves. It's all very different and almost personal-like in manor"

"But if you look at their eyes…," he paused.

"They're all the same. Yes, they're all different in color from one another but they are all the same in expression. They're all cold and unfeeling."

I looked at the paintings to see in fact, they were.

Their eyes all looked lifeless and dull, drained.

"People may act differently, look differently, and come across differently from one another, but deep down beneath blood and tissue they are all the same. They are all the same concept. Humans just live on basic instinct."

"A human will go through large amounts of trouble to achieve what they need to thrive in life even if it means being selfish and to hurt others. "

He looked at me, his eyes cold and sad, almost familiar to the paintings.

"Humans are evil creatures, Bella."

For some unknown reason, I felt angry with him. How dare he categorize me, how dare he categorize everyone!

The painting turned from beautiful to a mural of pain and cold, ignorance in a split second.

"All people aren't evil," I snapped, "People are different and think differently than one another all the time! One person might kill some person with any feeling or remorse and another person wouldn't ever dare kill someone! That's not the same is it? Everyone thinks differently."

"If you go farther down into the core, they all want to feel the same emotions and want to get the same things, even if it may come across differently like I said. They all just want selfish, personal gain" He now refused to look at me when he spoke.

"Like you know so much about the fucking human race Edward, you're not a mind reader." I snapped again, trying to make myself calm down. This man Is border-line nuts. No wonder he keeps himself locked up in this place out here in the middle of the woods.

Silence descended.

The only sounds were that of my breathing and the soft sound of the wind hitting against the outside of the barn.

"I am," he said suddenly.

"You are what?"

"A mind reader," he said coolly, now looking back to me.

_Yes, he's nuts all right._

I let out an audible scoff, "You're a mindreader?"

He nodded.

I smiled, deciding to have a little fun with this, "Mhm, Okay, um what am I thinking about right now then?"

He looked down. "That's the problem."

I raised an eyebrow at him, willing him to explain.

He gulped and was silent for a few moments before speaking, "I can't—I can't read _your _mind."

I crossed my arms and tried to not smile at that, my lips were pressed in a thin line. "That's convenient," I said, sarcasm dripping from my tone. Of course he couldn't read _my _mind 'supposedly' because he can't prove anything to me.

"I can't read everyone else's just not yours."

I nodded, noting subconsciously I was being a bit sarcastic. Okay, I was being really sarcastic and kind of mean towards him. The man just told me he reads minds, how was it possible to take this seriously though? I just couldn't wait till he got his damn truck fixed so I can haul ass away from his this nuthouse.

"That's why I live out here," he continued, "So I don't have to deal with the madness and confusion which is the human mind, don't you understand Bella, tell me you understand, please." His tone was so sad and desperate, I felt bad for him for a split second. My pity was then replaced by the idea that he was just a crazy man with a social disorder. That thought made me feel even worse from him.

"Sure," I sighed, feeling bad for being all snarky to this man. He genuinely seemed like a nice, caring guy…he just had some, err...problems.

His face lit up visibly, "Really?"

I nodded, tight-lipped willing myself not to laugh.

He walked. Well, more like ran over to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you," he breathed into my hair.

I let out a muffled 'mhm' against his chest, and pushed back away from him for air.

"Sorry," he mumbled, eyeing me sheepishly.

He was crazy but he was still kind of…cute.

_Oh hell Bella, don't lie. _

Okay he's freaking adorable, even with the weird made-up 'mind power' abilities.

I sighed.

How come every attractive male has to be either gay, taken or just plain _crazy? _

"Now you understand," he said, smiling now. He looked genuinely happy, relieved and it made my heart warm to think I made him feel this way. I nodded again and smiled back.

"In all my twenty five years of living I've never met anyone who I couldn't read, you're different…I don't know what it is."

I frowned at that.

_Was I some type of defect?_

I think he saw the clear thought in my emotion, because he was shaking his head furiously.

"No, no, no I mean it in the best way possible. It's fascinating to be around another human and not be smothered in their thoughts. It's relaxing, you're relaxing…"

He sighed and let out a small smile which didn't quite reach his eyes.

He's crazy

_But you like him. _

He's crazy

_But you like him; doesn't that make you crazy too? _

I just knew I needed to get that truck of his fixed and on our way into town so I could leave this house, leave this man, and leave before this situation got even more out of hand.

I needed to leave before I found myself drowning in him like that that night on the couch when he almost kissed me, when I felt the burn of his skin and his breath fanning across my face.

I needed to leave before I found myself meshed and thrown into confusion like just another one of his water-color paintings.


	5. Chained fence and old faces

**Author notes:** Okay this chapter is a little longer because i was later on an update that i thought i was going to be. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters

* * *

Chapter 5: Chained fences and old faces

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The day was going by slowly.

Very…slowly

Edward stood, hunched over the front of his truck still trying to fix the engine while I sat on the driveway besides him, tracing patterns into the dirt.

For some reason, Edward repelled anything electronic: no computer, no TV, no phone. He also didn't have any civilization outside his cabin for a good twenty miles.

What could this man possibly do every day? How does he keep himself entertained? He couldn't possibly just sit around by himself all day or he couldn't just paint 24/7 could he? Did he ever just get unbearably lonely? I felt like being out here all alone with little to nothing to do would surely cause a person to go mad.

_Well, that would make perfect sense wouldn't it? _

I ignored that thought and continued to trace designs into the dirt.

Edward isn't _crazy_. He's just…lonely. He's just lonely and bored.

Being those things can cause a person to create things to keep himself entertained, like I don't know—having mind reading abilities? Maybe he likes to escape into this 'world' where he's this emotionally misunderstood mind reader who likes to think he has the whole human race pinpointed when in actuality he's just a sad, ignorant anti-social man with a personality disorder.

I let out a long breath of air and erased what I was doing in the dirt by smearing it with my hand.

I can't take much more of this. I couldn't take much more of just sitting here with nothing to do; the thoughts pulling at me.

"Edward"

I watched his body jerk, probably surprised at my sudden break in silence. The movement caused the top of his head to come in contact with the hood of the car.

He yelped.

Turning towards me, he rubbed the top of his head with his eyes closed tight and a scowl on his lips.

A laugh almost left me which I quickly caught in my throat and stopped by smashing my lips together, trying my best to hold it in. I really shouldn't be laughing at him for just hurting himself but damn—he's cute when he's all flustered looking.

I sighed. _ I really wish you weren't crazy. Ugh, you're too cute to be crazy._

"Uhm, yeah?" He asked, still rubbing his head but his eyes were snapped open now and looking at me. His expression looked kind of confused and dazed looking. I couldn't tell if that was a look of surprise or just a look of reflexive look towards the pain.

I felt kind of weird staring up at him so i got up from the ground and using my hands, swatted off dirt that was on my sweatpants. "What do you do all day around here? What can you possibly do?"

He chuckled and leaned back on the front of the truck, not taking his hand off his head. "I do a lot of things. I paint, I read a lot, sometimes I write. There's a lot to do here if you think about it."

I walked over to stand beside him.

"Doesn't it get boring doing the same thing all the time and I mean how could you _not _possibly get lonely out here by yourself every day." I asked, noting to myself I may be coming out as a little pushy. The curiosity was slowly killing me. This man seemed as if he was torturing himself, isolating himself from having a normal, happy human life. Why didn't he just go to a therapist and try to work out these weird—'things' that were going on in his brain. He could try and have a normal life, with normal people. He could get help. I knew really nothing about personality disorders or delusional thinking of any kind but it seemed talking with someone would help him get better. It certainly wasn't helping him being out here with no human contact _at all_.

"I guess it does get lonely here at times," he whispered. I looked over to see him staring straight ahead towards the house, his brow furrowed and one of his hands still in his hair. "It's a lot better than being constantly _consumed _by everyone else's thoughts though, I'll tell you that. You don't know what it feels like to not even be allowed your own thoughts or ideals, opinions even, because you are almost confused with what's going on in your surroundings." He took a death breath.

"Hey do you want to go for a walk?" He asked, turning to face me.

_What_

He took another breath, less heavy this time. "You seem kind of bored and I-I don't know it's something to do?" He smiled nervously.

I got a feeling he was trying to end this conversation. The idea of getting away from the driveway and doing something else though was appealing though. I narrowed my eyes at him.

_This conversation is not over_

"Sure"

He smile turned into a full, dazzling grin. If I ever got the opportunity to make Edward smile like that, so happy and full of life—how could I possibly say no to him?

He began to walk off the dirt driveway and into the soft grass of the meadow and I quickly followed after him. The grass was gleaming with morning dew and the bright colors of the purple and yellow flowers randomly scattered throughout. It looked like one of those landscape calendars my grandma always had posted on her fridge.

My feet moved across the dirt and into the driveway and into the grass. The grass was soft and tickled the bare skin around my ankles and lower legs. Edward was still walking a few feet in front of me heading towards a small sloped hill on the other side of the meadow. There was a small road along it looked jagged and sharp looking with rocks along the way. A realization hit.

"Edward"

He turned around, not stopping as he continued to walk across the meadow.

"I don't have any shoes"

He looked down to my feet which were bare and mindlessly treading through the long grass, following him.

"Oh," he slowed down and then stopped dead in his tracks, turning to me now. "Hmm," His eyebrows knitted together and his head tilted to the side. "I um don't think I have any shoes that would fit you—your feet are… kind of small." He laughed softly.

_What's this?_

_Edward being—playful with me? _

"Maybe your feet are big," I retorted, throwing my hands on my hips.

He laughed louder now throwing his head back. When his head came back to face me he wore a soft smirk. He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe so"

I was smiling back at him when suddenly my thoughts threw me back to my truck and on the floor near the passenger seat. I saw me searching around with my hands moving everything from the fallen contents of my purse after the crash, a vision of my converse sneakers thrown on the ground.

"Oh!"

I began to turn away from him and towards the road where my truck was parked—I mean…wrapped around the tree. I tried to think back to my first night at Edward's house when I was running through the trees. It didn't seem like that far of a distance from here to the road.

I felt Edwards hand on my wrist, holding me from moving.

"Wait, what? Where are you going?"

I gasped and snapped my head back to see him staring at me, all humor and amusement erased from his features and replaced with pure confusion and—fear? His eyes bright and dancing where now racing back from looking at me and to the direction in which I was heading to towards the forest.

"I have sh-shoes in my truck," I whimpered, noting that his hold on my wrist was a little too tight.

"Oh," His eyes snapped down to see the connection between us and he immediately let go and took a step back from me.

"I'll go with you"

"Ok-kay," I said, timidly.

_What the hell was that all about? _

I felt my heartbeat slamming wildly against my chest and my breathing was coming in hard and choppy. That moment was so intense, so _possessive. _It definitely strayed away from the social-awkward, clumsy Edward I was beginning to get used too. Then again…Edward never gave me a very clear view at his personality. He was beginning to surprise me more the longer I got to know him. He's beginning to slowly unravel. It was mysterious really and incredibly unnerving but at the same time completely spontaneous and exciting.

He was walking ahead of me, not that far ahead, only a step or two and he looked nervously back to me and then straight towards the upcoming road again and again.

The forest floor was wet and slimy like under my bare skin. A few small rocks poked their into the bottoms of my feet and I became cautious, mentally making a strategy of moving around anything on the ground to avoid another…incident.

I glanced up just in time to see Edward look back at me. He looked down to the ground where I had just removed my gaze. His face dawned with the realization. "Oh!" He stopped and before I could think, swept me up onto his back, pulled me forward, and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"There you go"

I'm glad he couldn't see my face because I'm pretty sure I was about bright pink right now.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

He really was sweet. He didn't have to pick me up just so I didn't have to walk. The truck couldn't have been more than a minute or so from here.

I'm glad he did though.

I smiled to myself and watched as his back muscles flexed as he walked. I resisted the urge to rub my hands across them and massage them. _Damn, he's ripped. _Edward's body was lean and toned but his arms and back muscles were more prominent. His abdomen area was more flat and lanky-ish and his arms were nice with a little definition. He wasn't like one of those body builders in the vitamin shake commercials though. He wasn't that _muscly_. He just looked fit and healthy and toned.

_He's perfect_

I laid my head against his back and sighed.

_Wait—what, huh? _

I immediately picked my head off his back and stood my upper-body straight against him. I tried to relax again as I heard the softness of his boots hitting against the leaves on the ground and the wind as it traveled through the trees and echoed off them.

Before I knew it he stopped and reached behind him to remove my legs off from around his waist.

I looked around and saw my truck mangled and half intruding on itself from the force of the tree. Bits and pieces of orange-painted, metal were scattered throughout the forest near the crash site area. Hundreds of leaves coated the top of the car and were piled along its length.

I went right over to the truck and tried pulling the door open by yanking it. I put one of my legs against the body of the truck for leverage and pulled as hard as I possibly could. It finally opened with a loud, deafening creak and broke off the hinges falling to pile of leaves below on the ground. I yelped and dodged out of the way before it hit my foot.

"Bella! Are you okay?"

Edward was at my side before I could blink, his eyes went from me, the truck, and then snapped down to car door now lying on the ground amongst the leave pile.

"I'm fine," I huffed before grabbing the steering wheel and swinging my body into the driver's seat. I bent down trying to find my converse along the huge mess on the passenger side's floor: Coke cans, papers, my hairbrush—_Ah, yes! _I usually never carry around a hairbrush with me.

I found my messenger bag and started shoving all of my stuff back into it so I could bring it into the cabin. I had a small makeup bag from when I actually wore some for the party—_won't be needing that, _the hairbrush, I found my pair of socks I had to change into from my heels into my sneakers, my wallet, my cellphone and my sneakers that were tucked underneath the mess of papers.

When I think I had everything, I threw the bag's strap on my shoulder and jumped from the car and back onto the dirt. I was expecting Edward to be standing right there where I left him, but when I looked up he was nowhere to be seen.

"Edward," I called out.

"Over here"

I walked around to the other side of the truck to see him standing in the middle of the road, hands on his hips, staring at the truck. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was sucking on his bottom lip. He looked deep in thought.

"What are you doing?"

His eyes snapped back to me and he didn't answer for a few seconds just staring at me. He looked back to the truck briefly. "I'm—um, just checking out the damage." His answer seemed unsure.

I chuckled, "I would say that it's _pretty_ damaged." I walked over and closed the distance between the two of us, standing beside him to look at the truck. The truck was pretty far off from the road and from this distance I was debating to myself if I was a person driving by would I be able to spot it or not. It was pretty camouflaged into the forest with being covered in leaves also. I guess if a person did happen to look off the road and into the forest at the right angle, it _might _be visible.

"Ready?" Edward asked.

I nodded and began to walk into the forest.

He scooped me up into his arms and threw me onto him. I let out a big whoosh of air when my body hit his hard back. I situated myself and leaned against him.

"Don't want you to hurt yourself," he said, sheepishly.

_Wasn't expecting that. _

I was about to tell him I could stop and put my shoes on so he didn't have to carry me but I decided against it. This option was a lot more fun. I'm also pretty sure he didn't really mind since he threw me on him without me asking or doing it myself. I smiled at that.

When we walked back to the cabin, I went inside and threw my bag on the couch and sat down to put on my socks and sneakers. When I was done tying my last shoelace, we headed out back through the screen door and towards the small hill which we were heading towards earlier. It wasn't steep at all but it did have rocks throughout the path making it very challenging to walk through for such a—uncoordinated person such as myself.

When we reached the top of the small hill, the ground became evened out and flat into what looked like a small path alongside another larger mountain. The mountains in Edward's backyard weren't visible from the road and winded along alongside the path for what seemed like a good distance. The ending was unclear since it was far off and out of sight by being almost completely covered by pine trees.

We walked for a while in silence, just listening to the crunch of the small rocks underneath our shoes and the faint sounds of wildlife hidden by the trees below the path. That's when I got a very bad thought.

"Are there like—animals out here?"

Edward chuckled. "Well there's a lot of wildlife out here. I'm assuming you're not talking about the animals like squirrels and owls though."

"No I mean are there any…mean animals out here?"

He turned his face to look at me. His eyes were bright, lit with amusement and his mouth was pulled up into a smirk. "Mean?" He laughed, throwing his head back. "Yes, there are quite a few of _mean _animals out here. We are in the wilderness after all."

He must have saw the panic spreading through my face because he shook his head rapidly, "There's a fence right over there." He pointed to the side of him off of the cliff and the path down past the forest floor where there was a chain-link fence wrapping around the area. "I kind of consider this area my backyard. I put it up to keep out all of the—_mean _things." His eyes looked into mine, "also to keep out all those brunette city girls."

"Looks like that wasn't so affective," I said, matching his smile, "and hey! You actually _brought _me into your house let me remind you."

He scoffed. "What was I supposed to do, leave you outside where all the mean things could get you?"

I huffed. "Yeah, yeah okay I get it." My attention was drawn back to the chain-link fence that wrapped around the outline of the trees. It looked like it was a lot of work to put up. He couldn't have possibly done that all himself, could he?

"Did you do that all by yourself?" I waved my hand, to gesture to the fence.

His demeanor changed. He went from playful, happy Edward to emotionally cut-off, 'I don't want to talk about it' Edward. I played with the ends of my hair nervously, embarrassed for making him feel uncomfortable. What did I even say? All I asked was if he built the fence by himself. He wasn't answering my question and the silence was being overwhelming.

"Look, Edward I'm sor—"

"My brother Emmett helped me do it," he cut me off.

_He has a brother? _

_Roll with it Bella_

"Brother?"

He nodded.

"Where does he live?"

"Forks"

The air was getting chillier now, and I wrapped my arms around my torso for warmth as I sped up to keep up with him. He was moving quicker along the path now, and I found myself looking down, trying not to trip while I followed him along the path.

"Do you ever see him?" I asked, trying and failing to keep the curiosity out of my voice.

"No, well—not anymore." He said, softly. "We had a…" he moved his hands around in a jumbled motion, "disagreement."

"Oh"

I wanted nothing more than to push him a little further, ask what happened between the two of them. Based on his now, closed-off and uncomfortable self, I decided against it. I thought I'd take the conversation into a different direction to make him feel more comfortable.

"I'm um a single child, don't have any brothers or sisters," I laughed nervously. I wasn't sure if this was something he cared to know or not but I felt I owed his something for telling me something about his brother. It obviously made him relive something unpleasant and that's the last thing I wanted him to feel.

He looked over to me again and he gave me a sad, small smile.

_There we go, that's better at least _

"Well Emmett isn't technically my brother. We're not related at all. I was adopted when I was a baby. I'm not sure if I have any real brothers or sisters."

"Oh"

I felt like an idiot because I kept on saying 'oh.' Quite honestly, I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry? It didn't seem appropriate. I knew nothing about his birth parents or how his adoptive parents treated him. Maybe he loved his adoptive life and it was more of a good for you kind of thing. I decided to keep quiet for him to continue.

"He's like my real brother you know. We were real close." He turned straight ahead and smiled to himself.

_Were _real close…

The way he deliberately used past tense made my heart hurt.

_What happened between them? _

_What happened to his birth parents, adoptive parents? Why was this man all alone without anyone?_

"Why are you alone out here?" I blurted it out before I could stop myself. My hand flew up reflexively to my mouth.

_Stupid, stupid! You're so pushing it right now Swan. _

"I told you, because of the whole—," he sighed, "thing."

"Thing?" I asked.

"Yeah you know…the thing. The—mind thing." He looked sheepish, almost embarrassed. His hands were shoved in his jean pockets and his head was looking down, avoiding my gaze.

"I mean why don't you live with your parents? You don't necessarily have to live in a very populated area with a lot of people to read. You could at least stay in their house and just not go anywhere? It wouldn't be much different than here. At least you could have someone to talk to if you ever got lonely."

His eyebrows furrowed. "It's a little more complicated than that. I've lived with them for most of life, I had to deal with them constantly seeking out therapy sessions, counseling. It's tiring and frankly I know they care about me but it's just overwhelming. It's overwhelming to hear their thoughts towards me and how they think I'm this weird, crazy like person. They don't believe me." His jaw clenched and I watched as him arms dangled by his sides drew into tight, clenched fists.

"It's relaxing to be out here, without anyone…judging me, trying to change me."

He took a deep breath and he released the fists at his side.

I wasn't quite sure where I stood in this whole debate. There was no such thing as a human being able to read minds. That stuff only happened in all those sci-fi movies Jasper always used to make me watch. Edward was just confused and denied people helping him. He didn't want anyone to 'change' him. He had it all wrong. People just want to help him, help him because they want him to get better.

He needed to understand that.

Another strong gust of wind whipped around the mountain and caused a shiver to roll down my spine. I shuttered and wrapped my arms more firmly around my middle. I only had one Edward's T-shirt and my arms were bare and trickling with new goose bumps.

Edward turned and saw me, holding myself, shivering.

"Oh, hey," his hand brushed against my arm and we both stopped moving. "Let's start heading back; it's getting pretty chilly," he looked beyond the trees, "late too." I followed his gaze to see the sun slowly dropping behind the forest, the sky a beautiful shade of pink.

"I'll start dinner," he said.

"I'll help"

He broke into that perfect wide, dazzling grin of his.

"Sounds good," he said softly

and with that, we turned around and began to head back to the cabin.

* * *

Author notes: Thoughts?


	6. Isolationist

**Author Notes:** If you are enjoying the story so far, show me some love.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters

* * *

Somewhere in the city:

"It's been _days. _Why is there no progress?" A young, curly blonde-haired gentleman stood at the foot of the police chief's desk, bent over trying to catch his breath.

"You think I'm not looking?" The man in the chair, spun around to reveal an older man in his late 50's or so in age, a moustache curled on his top lip. "I have every team searching high and low for her, every square inch of the Washington area is being examined. Every rescue team under my control is on the case."

"Then why do we have absolutely _nothing_, no leads? You think we would have something now, anything at all." The younger man was almost yelling now. He couldn't find the strength to stop himself. It wasn't the police chief's fault there was no leads to where she was, he knew this deep down.

He felt tears stinging his eyes.

It's been days.

_Days, _since he saw her last.

He tried calling her cellphone but it immediately always came up with her voicemail.

"Hey, you reached Bel—" He flipped his phone shut every time it began. This became a pattern.

He couldn't stand to hear her. He listened to the voice on her voicemail all the way through once and he automatically regretted it as the tears began to fall from his eyes. It was too early to hear her voice. Too painful...

He still remembered some of the last words he said to her. The words that might be his last.

"_Don't be late!" _

Her laughter echoed throughout his head.

"_Trust me Jasper, I promise I'll be early this time."_

Chapter 6: Isolationist

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Edward bent down and reached into the cupboard to get a pot for the water while I began chopping the onion and peppers. We decided to make spaghetti and meat sauce for dinner. This was a better alternative than the instant ramen and taco bell I usually had to eat back at my place. I wasn't really one for cooking. Jasper was always the one parading around the house with his spatula, watching the food network while gathering up all his little ingredients. It was cute; I always teased him about it. He always used to make me try all these weird, exotic dishes that were what he called 'a taste of around the world.' I felt my nose cringe as I remembered how the Mexican dish burned the roof of the mouth one time and I had my head in the sink, trying to scrub the taste off my tongue while he stood there holding my hair chanting

_ 'Oh, Bella I'm so so so sorry. It said 5 tablespoons of tabasco. Oh shit, or did he say teaspoon? Wait—is there a difference?'_

I laughed at the thought as I continued to chop the peppers and onions.

Those were the days.

He moved out shortly after.

Now I didn't have any more of those dinners where we sat at the table laughing about how bad the food was and me trying to shallow the food with large amounts of soda along with it, to cover the taste. I found myself missing them. Now I almost missed the horrible food.

I took it all for granted.

When you're having fun and in the moment of something great, you don't realize it. You don't realize you're going to look back at it with fondness and wish you could go back. You don't appreciate things when they're happening. The second it happens, that moment is gone forever.

It is gone.

He's gone.

I eat ramen by myself on the table most nights, listening to the outside sounds of the cars and the murmurs of people along the neighboring apartments.

"What?"

Edward stood up and walked over to the sink to fill the pot with water.

I was pulled from my thoughts when he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah—hmm, huh what?"

He chuckled. "Why are you smiling?"

I blushed. "Oh, um just remembering something that happened a long time ago," I whispered.

Pausing for a second, he nodded. He set the pot of water on the stovetop and turned the dial to high before leaning against the counter. I was done with cutting up the vegetables so I picked up the cutting board I was using to cut them on top of and scraped everything into a separate pan that was heating up with the meat. I turned back to see him to see him still leaning against the counter, eyeing me.

"Frustrating," he blurted out suddenly.

"What is?"

"I want to know what you're thinking about," he growled.

"Oh"

_Here we go; he's going to start with the freaky mind reading shit again._

He tilted his head to the side, his forehead creased in thought.

"I thought you didn't like reading minds," I said dryly. I walked past him to put the cutting board and knife into the sink.

"I don't." He sighed and rubbed his hands against his face, "But it's killing me that I don't know what _you're _thinking about. I want to know what made you happy all of a sudden."

I scoffed. This game was getting old, fast. "You can't have the best of both worlds Edward. You can't just say you hate being," I waved my hands around, "drowned, whatever… in other people's minds and get all upset when you can't read mine."

"I'm just confused," he whispered.

_Confused?_

He said he can read minds. Confused does not begin to cover it.

"I know you are."

He hand made its way into his hair and pulled, hard. I mean _really_ hard. It looked almost painful. I wanted to walk over to him and pull his hand away but I decided against it.

"It's just that I've never met anyone who I couldn't read before. Maybe that's why I want to hear your thoughts so bad. In my whole life I have never heard," he stopped talking and silence filled the air, "This, that—complete silence with another person without being interrupted by their thoughts, _ever. _"It's completely just—weird!"

I laughed. "Actually no, that's completely—normal. It would be weird if you _could _hear my thoughts."

He groaned. "Bella, you said you believed me. Please I'm not crazy," both of his hands were now at either side of his face and he was taking deep, unsteady breaths, "Please, please believe me."

"I, I do—believe you." I took a step back. I was beginning to get a little afraid. I swallowed the lump in my throat and mentally calculated my escape out the door if he did do something. I haven't gotten to know him that well. He could be mentally unstable and I could of just have been seeing very small glimpses of it.

"I don't have to read your mind. I can hear the doubt in your voice."

He removed his hands and smacked them against the counter, the sound was loud and echoed off tiled walls and made some of the spice shakers on the rack fall off and break open on the counter.

I jumped.

"Edward, pl-please calm down—you're scaring me." My heart was slamming hard against my chest and I was backed up so far away, the back of my legs hit one of the kitchen chairs.

"Damn it! It tears everything away from me, _everything" _He yelled.

"Please stop! We can talk about this! Ju-just calm down!"

He was pacing back and forth across the kitchen, shaking his head and taking long, deep steady breaths as he went. "What did I do to deserve this? Why am I—_cursed _with this," he spat. "Why can't I just have a normal, ignorant human life like everyone else? Why am_ I_ different, why me?"

"Edward please," I begged.

"Please what?" he stopped pacing. "Please stop scaring you? Stop acting like a crazy person? Why—you think I'm crazy anyway. Everyone does."

"I don't"

_Lie_

He scoffed. "Bella don't lie to me, _please_." He begged. "I know you think I'm crazy. If I was you and someone told me they could read minds, I would run the hell away from them. I'm surprised you're still here." He whispered the last part. So sad…so—defeated.

"I'm still here." I whispered back.

He stood across from me in the kitchen, looking down at the ground. "You are…for now," he said, almost so soft I couldn't make the words out.

He looked up to me and the sight almost broke my heart. His mouth was slightly open and turned down while his eyes looked big and rimmed red with dark circles underneath. He looked worn down, tired even. His eyes were a darker green than they normally were. They looked sad and desperate, for what I was interiorly unsure of. They almost had a hidden plea to them.

But for some unexplainable reason, I hated seeing him like this.

_You care about him_

The words stung me and I felt my body go tense. They echoed throughout my head over and over again.

_You care about him Bella…_

It was then I knew it was true. I cared about Edward Cullen.

When his face lit up and he smiled at me, I felt happy, content—at ease. When he was distraught, it made _me _upset. I wanted to make him feel better at all costs. I wanted to be the reason he smiled and his eyes lit up.

It was going to be a lot harder to leave him. How_ could_ I leave him? He was so broken, so alone without anyone out here.

Could my conscious handle leaving this man when he needed someone the most?

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard water hit the top of the hot stove. The sizzling sound caused both Edward and me to look up.

_Oh, right. Dinner…_


	7. A friend to feel alone with

**Author notes:** Thank you so much to the people who Favorited, put this story on alert or left a review! You guys are amazing.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters

* * *

Chapter 7: A friend to feel alone with

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Dinner was quiet.

We sat on opposite sides of the table listening to nothing other but the soft hum of the refrigerator and the clank of the silverware hitting against the plates. Awkward didn't even begin to describe how it felt.

The food was good though, that's a plus. I tried to busy myself by continuously eating or drinking my water. I tried to tell myself that if he saw that I was busy, he wouldn't try to speak to me.

He didn't.

He just sat there, moving his food around the plate like he always did, taking small bites here and there. He didn't really eat much. I ate more than him most of the time.

He usually just played with the food on his plate and stared at me when he didn't think I was watching. Sometimes I would catch him looking out the corner of my eye but decided not to mention it. Every time I looked up to him, he usually looked right away.

But today was different. Edward didn't look up to me once. He leaned his elbow against the kitchen table and let out a small sigh, the first sound he's made all night since the—disagreement, or whatever you would consider it. I didn't even know what to call it.

It was more of Edward just getting angry I didn't believe; Angry that I didn't believe he could read minds. Was that really reasonable though for him to get angry? No it wasn't.

It wasn't reasonable to get angry at someone for not believing something so stupid.

Edward cannot read minds.

No one can.

I heard the scrap of his chair against the linoleum. Edward walked over to the other side of the kitchen, Put his nearly-full plate and fork into the sink, and walked out of the kitchen leaving me alone to myself

~X~

When I was finished with my dishes and Edward's—which I did also, hoping he'd feel bad about being such a jerk at dinner—I walked out into the living room.

The house was quiet and I wondered if Edward was outside. I heard the shower turn on to answer my question. There wasn't much to do so I decided I'd go sit down and relax. I didn't want to sit in the living room again so I decided I'd try some different and go sit on the back porch. It was a nice night after all. It wasn't cold like it usually was; it was actually fairly warm.

I sat on Edward's old, green lawn chair that was mismatched from the rest of the porch set. It looked like he got all of this stuff from a yard sale. It all looked worn-down and misplaced. He had three different styles of chair, all different colors and a large, glass table close by. The glass table though, looked brand new compared to all the other things.

I sighed and slumped back further into the chair, trying to get comfortable. The back was made of some weird plastic strips which happened to have a few missing, causing me fall into it a little. After a while, I readjusted and got used to it. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the comfortable silence of the forest.

It was a lot different than the city out here.

There was no cars honking and beeping outside, no annoying neighbors clanging their pots and pans at 3am when they got home from work, no vendors yelling on the streets. It was nice here— simple.

I must have gotten really comfortable because a little while later I was woken up by the slap of the screen door against wood. I jumped and turned around to see Edward standing on the porch now, hand still holding onto the handle.

It reminded me a lot of the first time I saw him. His hair now though, was wet and more tamed than it looked back when we met. He was wearing a white, short-sleeve 'Washington State University' T-shirt and black sweatpants similar to the ones I was wearing.

"You scared me," I whispered, taking a deep breath to try and even out my breathing. My heart was thumping in my chest.

He mumbled an apology and stood there at foot of the door as if he were debating something. After a couple seconds, he made his way to sit in the orange lawn chair next to me.

We both just sat there and stared up into the sky. It was pitch black out now and stars stretched as far as I could see on either side—another thing I didn't get in the city, stars. Without all the lights of the city, you could see hundreds of them scattered around the sky. It was beautiful. I don't remember seeing anything like this since I was back living in Phoenix with my mom. Maybe they're has been stars since then. There should have been. I've been out of the city a lot if I think about it. Maybe I was too busy to notice them. Everything about my life was so fast-paced I probably didn't take the time.

"Nice night," he said so softly, I almost didn't hear him.

I turned to look at him and saw he was staring up. I followed his gaze back to the stars.

"It is"

Silence again

I grabbed a strand of my hair and started twirling it around my finger. It was a habit I really did need to get rid of: playing with my hair when I felt nervous or anxious at all. For people that have known me a long time, the habit became noticeable with its pattern and it was almost a gateway into my emotions. I was an open book Jasper always used to say. He could always tell what I was feeling because of it.

I did want to know though why Edward chose to come outside and sit with me. I was surprised to say the least. After the way dinner went, I thought he was going to fix up his truck and have me gone by morning. I didn't think he was going to talk to me at all.

He was so loud, so—angry with me. I honestly couldn't remember what made it escalate to that point. All I remember is him getting all weird after I joked about the mind reading thing. He began to say all these things like 'it tears everything away' and 'why can't I have a normal life.'

He could have a normal life if he wanted to. He could get help and solve these things that were going on his head. He just needed to be willing to try.

_It tears everything away from me? _What did that even mean? The only thing tearing anything away from Edward is Edward himself. He's the one who chose to isolate himself out here, he's the one who chose to have the freak out in the kitchen and scare me away from him. He needed to learn that he can't keep blaming everything in his life on these—things that are happening inside his head, whatever those might be.

"Look…Bella, I'm—"

"I know, I know you're sorry." I interrupted.

I turned to see him looking at me out the corner of his eye, his brow creased and his eyebrows tight together. "Yeah, it's just that I'm—"

"Frustrated" I whispered, keeping him from finishing his sentence yet again.

_Frustrated, confused. _It was all one big repetitive pattern with him. It was just a broken record skipping over and over again. He was just going to keep getting angry and apologizing to me when he realizes he fucked up.

"Yeah" he said softly, leaning back further into his chair.

I let out a shaky breath. "You can't get mad at me for no reason, it's not fair."

I stared up into the sky, trying to avoid his gaze which I felt on me. I didn't want to see the look on his face. I just wanted to sit out here and be left alone. I wanted him to go back inside.

"I just want you to…believe me, Bella."

"I said I do."

He heard him let out a shaky breath of air. "Why do you have to lie to me? I know you're just saying that so I'll leave it alone."

_Good he got the hint, so why wasn't he taking it? _

I ignored him and hummed as I felt a small breeze move by. It was a beautiful night—well; it was until he came out here and started talking. I knew I was being a little harsh but I was annoyed at the fact that he thought he could be a complete jerk at dinner than just come out here, expect to say sorry and everything will be okay. I could see a bad pattern developing.

"I don't even know why I told you. I just wanted you to—understand me? I wanted you to know the reason behind the way I act, the way I am. The reason I'm here." I saw him gesture towards the forest out the corner of my eye. "It's a big part of me; it's _everything _about me really."

I turned to look at him and my eyes immediately locked with his. His eyes were a bright green, sharply vibrant. It made me gasp.

"You can probably have told by now I don't have a lot of friends." He said sheepishly. He let out a nervous laugh. "I um don't have as many people come running by my house as you would think."

I fought the urge to smile.

"It's just my—ability makes everything more complicated. It distances me from people, people I really care about and well, people I just met—everyone. I just maybe wanted to get to know you too, us to know each other" He groaned, and grabbed his hair. He tugged hard at it.

"Be friends?" I whispered.

"Yes" he exhaled and released his hair.

I thought back to all the times he made me smile, made me laugh. All the times he was upset and obviously hurting and me standing there wanting to comfort him. I cared about him, I know I did. He had nobody in this world. He didn't speak to his birth parents or adoptive parents anymore from what he told me. His brother and him used to be close but got in some—argument. He was all alone.

I thought about me. I thought about myself sitting alone at my kitchen table with a bowl of instant noodles, staring at the wall. I thought about the time Jasper and I danced around the apartment to Johnny Cash drunk and crashed out on the couch shortly after. I thought about the time I sat alone on that same couch and watched as Jasper carried his last box of stuff out of the our—my apartment.

In ways, I was alone too.

We both were.

This man might have a little anger issues, he might be a little…crazy, but he was like me—lonely.

"I can be your friend." I whispered.

His face lit up.

_Did this mean I forgave him? _

With the way he was looking at me and the way I felt, I honestly couldn't give a damn.

"With one condition though."

He took a deep breath, his grin not faltering. He leaned against his elbow on the arm rest and looked at me.

"No mentioning of any kind about being angry about not reading my mind or about reading anyone else's minds."

His grin turned into a small smile, "It's a deal."

I wanted to create something in which something was actually normal in his life. If he couldn't read my mind, and no one else was here to 'read' then he could pretend that maybe he didn't have these strange things going on his head. He can have normal human interactions for once. I just wanted to help him. Maybe friendship was all he needed to get better. Maybe over time he would be able to get back into—talking with other people?

Friendship makes everything better. It sounds corny, I know, like something they would say on some kid's show. In Edward's case it was true. If my friendship was what this man maybe needed to get better, I could give it to him.

He saved me after all; he nursed my injuries when I fell.

Maybe I should save him too? I owed him it.

I turned back over to him to see him staring up at the stars, a wide smile still on his face.

_I can try._

~X~

After taking a shower, I changed into the clothes Edward left outside the bathroom door. He left me another pair of sweatpants but this time these were red. He also left me a plain black t-shirt and another pair of his underwear.

I blushed. It still felt kind of weird to be wearing his underwear but mine were still in the washer machine because I forgot to throw them in earlier. It felt so familiar, so intimate in some way that he was so nonchalant about giving them to me. The other part of brain immediately shut that idea down. He was just trying to be a good host, a good—friend.

After using the hairbrush to get the tangles out of my hair and picking up my dirty clothes I left the bathroom and walked into the living room. Edward was sitting in the armchair opposite the couch. I tried to read the cover of the book but it was blocked off from my view.

I threw the clothes down on the couch and laid down.

It was pretty late. We didn't have a clock or anyway to tell the time so I couldn't have been sure. The sky was pitch dark though; it had been for a long time. I found myself letting out a loud yawn, stretching my arms over my head.

I heard Edward close his book.

"You should sleep now."

I nodded warily, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapping it around myself.

I watched as he stood up and walked over to the lamp. "You know—you could sleep in my bed."

I must have been _really _tired because there is no way Edward just said that. I think he saw the look on my face because he was rapidly shaking his head. "No, no, no I mean I could sleep on the couch and you could sleep in my bed? It's a lot more comfortable and its—"

"I'm fine," I whispered, effectively cutting him off from rambling. "I don't want to take you from your bed." I was trying to hold in my giggling with that frantic look on his face. He was so flustered looking and I swear he was—blushing.

_Edward Cullen was blushing? _

"It's no problem at all."

"No, I'm fine here really. I like this couch." I smiled reassuringly at him.

"Oh…okay."

He stood there for a second with his hand on the lamp's string. "Well—goodnight Bella," he finally said.

"Goodnight Edward" I whispered back.

I watched as he turned the lamp off and walked down the hallway to the last door on the left side and disappeared inside.


	8. Burnt food for the burnt out

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters

* * *

****Chapter 8: Burnt food for the burnt out

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I pulled the blanket around over my head, trying to block out the weird, rumbling noise that filled the room. It stopped for a while then sputtered in and out and went up in pitch. The noise was like a sort of purring; a rough purring noise. It sounded like a—

_Wait_

My eyes flew open and I sat up against the arm rest of the couch.

"Edward!" I yelled.

When he didn't respond, I flung the blanket off my body and grabbed my shoes that were lying next to the couch. I put on the right and was stumbling trying to get the left one on while throwing open the screen door. I ran down the back porch steps and onto the grass of the meadow.

The bright light of the morning hit me like a wall and my eyes snapped shut, rubbing them trying to get rid of the stinging. I opened them and blinked a few times and in my blurred line of vision, I saw Edward jumping from the driver's seat of his truck and running over to the hood. The rumbling noise stopped.

"Edward! The truck, did you get it running?"

He turned to face me. His eyes were wide and were moving side to side frantically, all color drained from his face. He was pacing back and forth along the driveway picking things up from the ground and throwing them in his arms.

"Edward!" I yelled again, running over to him. "Did you get it running?" I probably had the biggest smile on my face. He didn't turn back to look at me until I was on the dirt of the driveway. He glanced at me over his shoulder and dropped all the tools into a pile on the ground.

"Um— no, I didn't." His voice was dry and hurried as he threw open the front hood of the truck.

"What do you mean? I heard the engine." I pointed to the truck, the smile wiped clear off my face.

"I was—," he paused and furrowed his eyebrows, "Testing it out, seeing if it would work. It didn't, died out sorry." He turned back and started working on something around the engine.

I started to walk to the driver's side. "Maybe you didn't start it up right. Here, I'll to start it up. I heard the engine start so you know it—"

I was interrupted when Edward jumped in front of me. "No, no it's fine I got it." I laughed and tried to move around him; he blocked me off again. "Edward seriously move, let me try." His eyes were wide and darting around again. "Please ju-just go inside, I can handle it." He said, blocking me when I ineffectively tried to get around him again.

I stopped and stared at him. His eyes stopped darting around and focused straight onto mine. Maybe he was just weird about people touching his truck. My ex Michael always hated it when I did anything to his car. I decided I would just let it be; let him do his own thing. He knew more about this kind of stuff than I did anyway.

"Whatever," I huffed.

He let out a deep, shaky breath of air.

I raised my eyebrow at him and turned to start walking back to the house. When I was halfway across the meadow, I turned back over my shoulder to look at him. He was leaning against the door of the truck, with his hands in his hair and his eyes closed. I scoffed and shook my head, before walking up the stairs to the patio

~X~

I heard the clunk of his boots against the kitchen floor.

"Hey"

I turned around to see him standing in the frame of the kitchen door. His hair was wild and unruly, as it always was and his jeans were black and tight against his skin, his shirt was a plain white and ripped at the bottom in some places.

"Hi"

I heard him grab a chair and slide it out against the linoleum and sit down. "You're making breakfast?" I turned back around again to see him leaning against the kitchen table on his elbow and flashing a beautiful, lop-sided smirk at me.

I smiled back. "Yeah, you were busy and I was bored—and well, hungry." I flipped over one of the eggs with the spatula.

"What are you making?"

"Eggs, seems simple enough." I laughed; proud of myself I was cooking something other than instant ramen and chicken noodle soup. I flipped over the other eggs in the pan. I made five: three for Edward, two for me.

After a while, I heard Edward push his chair back and walk over besides me. He jumped onto the counter. "Looks good,"

"Thanks Gordon Ramsay." I scoffed, walking over to the other side of the kitchen to put the egg carton back into the fridge.

"What?"

I turned back to him. His forehead was wrinkled and his head was titled to the side.

"Oh"

"What?" He said again.

"I just um, thought you were someone— Jasper. We always used to watch his show and I always used to make fun of him because he loved this guy, I mean _Loved _this guy and he would always try and recreate all the dishes he did and—"

"Who's Jasper?" He asked, cutting me off.

I stopped, mouth open still in mid-sentence. I frowned.

"Friend" I said in a dry voice.

Edward's forehead wrinkled further and he sucked on his bottom lip in thought. "Friend?" he repeated my words back to me.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice trailing off in question. "I actually was supposed to see him the day I got in the crash, the day when I ended up here. I was heading to his wedding rehearsal."

Edward's face visibly lightened. His forehead smoothed out and he returned to his relaxed posture of leaning against the cabinets above the counter. "Oh" a smirk pulled at his lips. "I'm sorry you missed it."

"Me too" I mumbled, walking over to lean against the counter next to him.

"Well hopefully not to sorry because you would of never met me" I looked up to see him staring down at me, amusement in his eyes. I scoffed and turned back away from him so he wouldn't see the smile on my face.

It was quiet for a while as we sat in silence listening to nothing but the sizzle of the eggs cooking and the tapping of my nails against the countertop.

"Who's Gordon Ramscee?" He asked suddenly.

I laughed, throwing my head back. "Gordon Ramsay? Oh he's just this chef on this TV show Jasper loves. We used to watch it a lot. You should too—"

I stopped when I saw him give me a small, sad smile.

"What?" I asked.

He chuckled, "No TV."

"Oh" I frowned. That's right; he didn't have television—or cable for that matter. "Never mind." I whispered, now playing with the ends of my hair. I didn't brush my hair today and it was starting to get a little tangled; I tugged trying to smooth them out.

I also started to wonder if there was anything else I could cook to go with the eggs. I should probably check the fridge. He did have a lot of food in there that I didn't really examine closely. Maybe he had some bacon or fresh fruit or something.

It was then I got a thought.

"Edward?" I looked up to him.

"Hmm?"

"Where do you get all this food," I asked, gesturing to the fridge and the stovetop where the eggs were cooking.

He chuckled, "The store?" He raised an eyebrow at me, amused.

Okay now I was truly confused. "But you said you don't like— being around other people."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I leave the house once a month to go get supplies for around the house like food and shampoo and stuff. I buy enough and it lasts for a while, even more so than 30 days most of the time," He sighed, running his hand through his hair, "I don't like being around people, I manage for one day. It's just extremely unenjoyable—it's not like I explode into a million pieces as soon as I'm in a social environment like that. It's just—yeah, not my idea of a good time."

I noticed how he didn't say anything about reading minds in his explanation. I was kind of glad about it.

My mind began to mentally process all the food he would probably have to buy in a month for it to last him that long. He wouldn't be able to buy anything that would go bad easily in a short time like milk. Maybe he'd be able to enjoy stuff like that the first week or so but after that it's all gone rotten.

Just then a horrible smell filled the air.

I sniffed and looked up to Edward questioningly who was doing the same to me. I saw as a realization hit him with full force and his eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. He jumped from the counter and ran over to the stove. "Eggs!" He shouted.

It took a second for his words to catch up to me. "Eggs" I repeated and ran after him. When I got a look of the pan, red and yellow flames were dancing around the edges. They danced menacingly, making a horrible sizzling sound.

"Shit"

I ran over to the sink and threw the lever up, cold water immediately coming out.

"Edward, quick!" I shouted, waving to the sink.

He looked to me panicked and nodded, grabbing the pot handle and running over to me. He threw the pot in and it clanked horribly against the metal of the sink. The Sizzling grew louder as the cold water hit against the hot surface of the pan. Steam slowly rose and filled around the kitchen. I started frantically waving around the kitchen and eventually ended up pulling up the kitchen window to air out the room.

The sizzling subsided and the steam slowly began to exit through the open crack in the window. I took in a deep breath of air and noticed Edward doing the same in front of me. We both stood there for a second, breathing hard, trying to catch our breath.

I walked over to the sink and saw the eggs—or well, what was left of them at least, Five black mounds of burnt perfection. Jasper would be proud. I sighed and slumped down against the counter, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor. I put my face in my hands.

_Eggs, simple? _

_I can't even cook…eggs._

I groaned.

I heard the clunk of Edward's boots against the floor, interrupting my thoughts. When I opened my eyes and turned to him, he was eye level with me sitting on the floor. At first he looked sympathetic but then his look turned into one of pure amusement. His smile, turned into a grin, which turned into head thrown back laughter.

I chuckled just watching him and before I knew it, I was laughing with him: so hard my chest hurt and my eyes began to water.


	9. Studio (Revisited)

**Author note:** Some may like this turn in the story, others may not. Do you/Don't you? Tell me with a review? ;)

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters

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Somewhere in the middle of the Washington Forest:

In the back of his mind, he could hear his name being called in the distance, a faint echoing sound. It wasn't until she stood at the driveway, the truth of the matter hit him with full force and he turned to look at her. Her brunette waves were messy and tangled lying across one of her shoulders, and her eyes were heavy from sleep. She still looked gorgeous; she always did. She was simply breath taking; so beautiful, funny, kind— innocent.

He was just a monster. He shouldn't be doing this to her

A selfish monster

When she offered to help him, he physically blocked her. He was afraid, afraid she'd know, afraid she'd know the real truth of the truck, afraid maybe she'd get a glimpse of what he had in the back bed.

It would be all over if she saw.

She'd know.

When she retreated, confused, back to the cabin, he waited until she was fully emerged inside. Quickly, he ran over to the back of the truck and pulled down the latch. He took a glimpse to the cabin's windows to make sure the blinds were drawn before reaching in.

_I'm sorry_

He chanted it over and over.

_I'm sorry._

Chapter 9: Studio (Revisited)

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"Well that was better than breakfast." I laughed, standing up from the table to walk over and put my dish into the sink. Edward and I made Stir fry for dinner. I cut up all the ingredients and put them into the pan while he did the actual cooking on the stove. I wasn't completely useless when it came to the kitchen. I usually always cleaned up afterwards too, wiping down the dishes and the counter tops.

Edward didn't really eat much. He ate about half of his plate of stir fry before walking over to stand beside me at the sink and slip his plate inside. We silently stood while I cleaned the dishes and he wiped them dry with a dishrag and placed them in the dish rack.

By the time we finished and headed into the living room, the windows were dark and the breeze was silently blowing against the curtains. I walked over and shut the window before lying down on the couch and yawning. I stretched my arms and legs.

My body felt tense and achy because the pain killers for my stiches still haven't kicked in yet. They were pretty much healed at this point but there was still an uncomfortable feeling if they were slept on wrong.

"G'night" I mumbled to Edward while pulling the blanket to cover me.

"Goodnight Bella" He whispered, his soft smile disappearing into the darkness when the lamp clicked off

~X~

I awoke when my body felt hot and damp. I was sweating horribly and I noticed I had kicked down my blanket in the middle of the night. I wiped at the perspiration on my forehead and walked over to the window. I hoped it was cooler outside and the breeze would carry through the room and make it more comfortable so I could get back to sleep.

I was rewarded with a small streak of cold air from the crack of the window when I finally managed to get it open. I leaned into and sighed as the breeze tickled my face. It felt so nice and my body was so over heated.

I decided I would go stand outside for a minute to cool myself down then I'd head back and try to get some sleep. I couldn't of been asleep that long, maybe only an hour or two. It was still pitch black outside, no indication of it being early morning. It usually was brighter out and you could see along the outline of the trees at the time.

I stepped onto the back porch, closed my eyes and leaned on my elbows against the railing. The cold night air hit the bare skin of my face, neck and the uncovered parts of my arms which my t-shirt didn't reach. I could literally feel the heat disappearing and being replaced by the chill. Small goose bumps began to form on my forearms and I rubbed at them. It felt so good; I leaned further against the railing and leaned my head onto one of my hands.

I debated sleeping out here. I could just sleep on the wood of the patio or fall asleep laying on one of the arm chairs. It sounded a lot more convincing than going back and laying down in that sauna of a living room. I sighed and opened my eyes.

It was then I noticed tiny lights dancing in the distance of the back yard. I squinted and noticed they followed into the dark woods and disappeared behind the tree line.

_What in the—_

I took a deep breath and walked down the patio stairs.

The soft grass of the meadow was cold and welcoming to my feet and I felt myself mindlessly gliding towards the soft glowing not too far ahead. I mentally noted it probably wasn't safe to be strolling through the forest in the middle of the night. There could be mountain lions, bears. I couldn't bring myself to care to much as I continued walking through the meadow.

When I got close enough I saw that the glowing was a lantern that was hanging from its handle against a tree branch. I looked past to see a string of lanterns following further into the woods, illuminating a path to the back of the property. They were roughly 200 feet apart from one another and left no empty dark spaces in between on the journey.

I pressed on, following the lantern path. The soft grass of the meadow slowly began to disappear and be replaced with the dirt of the forest floor. The dirt was for the most part, soft but had a few rocks I had to avoid. Good thing the lanterns were here and I good easily see them.

The lanterns went on for a while. I found myself walking for a good two minutes before they slowly began to run out in number and leave me with the very last lantern facing towards the forest.

The barn stood there in front of the last lantern, covered in vines and illuminated with a soft, fluttering light inside that shined through the bottom slit of the door.

"Edward" I whispered to myself.

Subconsciously I knew there was no explanation for this besides it being Edward but the fact he was out here in the middle of the night, in the back of the property made my stomach do a small flip.

_Should I go to him? Should I got back and try to get some sleep?_

Something told me that if I went back to the house, I wouldn't be getting any sleep. I'd stay up and think about Edward all alone in the barn. I would think about what would have happened if I went to him and didn't turn back around.

I wondered why he was awake at an hour like this. He always was awake before I was and he apparently stayed up longer than I did. When did he ever find the time to sleep?

I started walking past the last lantern and further, deeper into the forest where the barn stood peacefully alongside a lining of pine trees.

When I reached the wooden door on the barn, my body went cold and rigid. I debated knocking or just saying screw it and running back to the cabin. Maybe he didn't want to be bothered; maybe that's why he came out here in the middle of the night—so I wouldn't find out about him being here.

I ignored the thought. I took in a large breath of air and raised my fist. I held it for a second and closed my eyes tight and knocked twice against the door, hard. It echoed against the hard wood of the door and I felt my heart stop dead at the sound.

After a few seconds, the door slid part way open with a small creak. Edward's bronze hair peaked its way through the side and his bright green eyes bore into mine, the bottom half of his face covered by the darkness of the outside. The contrast of the night focused in on Edward's eyes and made them almost—glimmer in the dark. They were a beautiful shade of light green and I felt my breath hitch, but not out of fear this time.

"H-Hi" I stuttered, wrapping my arms around my body.

"Hi" He breathed. He pulled the door to open fully and moved out of the way, granting me entrance. When I stepped inside, he pulled the door closed again and stood behind me.

"You're here" He whispered.

He was still standing behind me and I was facing away from him. I was glad he couldn't see the blush that I felt spreading across my face, the heat seeping down my neck. I was sure I was practically scarlet by now.

"I am" I whispered back.

When he didn't respond, I felt myself stumbling over my words.

"I um, couldn't sleep. It was so hot and so I went outside to um—cool down and I saw these lanterns and then I—"

He laughed softly, effectively cutting off my rambling. "Can't sleep?"

I nodded.

I heard him take another step closer. His breath was faintly touching the skin of my bare neck he was so close. "Good because I need some help" He said before walking past me to the other side of the barn.

"Help?"

He turned back over his shoulder and gave me a soft smile. "Yeah"

I started following him. "Help with what?"

He stopped and sat down on a wooden stool. He pulled another one over next to him by pulling it with his foot. He sat in front of a large table with blank canvases neatly piled behind it and one lying on top looking partially done with shades of blues and oranges.

He patted the stool next to him. "Being my helper, you know—I have to make money some way." He smirked, grabbing a small brush with his other hand.

I stood awkwardly for a second before slowly bending down to sit on the stool besides him. "You sell paintings?"

He nodded and dipped his brush into a palette of paint colors and softly stroked a new shade of pink under the line of orange that was on the canvas.

"Yes." He continued to stroke downwards against the canvas, "I sell paintings to a variety of companies. This one I'm doing right here belongs to a much larger gallery. I'm working on a set for a new hotel in Seattle's lobby and dining area. It isn't just a hobby you see; it is my profession as well." He gestured behind us to the large canvas the hung against the wall with the people and the strange color patterns.

I looked back to him and thought how I could have missed this part of the room. I was so entranced by the larger painting; I must have over looked his working space. He was in such a hurry to leave the barn last time; I must have not thought to look.

The painting he was working on now was so soft and calming. It looked almost as if it were a sunset. I looked behind the canvas to the others that were drying against the wall and noticed they looked similar but in different color tones. They all looked like they belonged together one place or another.

"How do you want me to help?" I asked.

He laughed. "I'm not sure."

He sucked on his bottom lip and tapped his fingers, that weren't holding the brush, against the table. "You could get me the red paint over on the shelf right there." He pointed to the wall without removing his eyes from his project.

I stood up and made my way over to the shelf. I noticed there was blue and red paint smeared on the dirt and on the lower half on the barn's wall.

A mental play back of my back hitting against the shelf played in my mind: Me screaming and the cold liquid that ran down my legs and feet and Edward running over to pull me away from the mess.

_Reminder to clean that up for him later_

I stood on my tippy-toes and reached for the tube of red paint on the top shelf. When I turned back to walk to him, I looked at the large painting that stood against the wall: so beautiful and—sad, all at the same time. So much confusion and hurt wrapped around in a painting and it created something beautiful, almost as if it were an accident. I noticed the previous blank space of the painting was still covered with the tarp.

I wondered if he ever had time to work on that painting since he had to do all of the others for his work. Well, he probably did. What else would he have to do all day? He said he likes to take walks and writes but there's only so long you can do that all day, every day before going absolutely bored out of your mind.

I walked back and put the red paint next to his palette of paints.

"Thanks Helper" He said smiling, finally looking up from the canvas.

I scoffed. "Hmm, I don't know about that."

His smile wavered and turned into a small frown. "Know about what?"

"I don't like helper. I like partner. It sounds less demeaning and more equal. Painting partners—I like how that sounds." I said, smiling.

He shook his head. He couldn't hide the smile that was growing over his face: His white teeth peeked through his lips and the skin around his eyes crinkled. "You're so stubborn, you know that?"

I laughed, my head thrown back. "I've been told." I played with the ends of my hair that were tangled and wavier than normal due to sleep.

We were silent for a while. There wasn't much sound besides the soft dipping of his brush into the paint and the movement as it traveled down the paper.

"What do you do?" he said after a while.

"Hmm?"

"What do you do," he waved around him, "Um—like I paint for money what do you do?"

"Oh like a job?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah"

"I'm an assistant to the regional manager of Seattle foods and co."

His eyebrows furrowed.

"It's a major grocery store chain. I know right—so exciting. I've been looking into quitting for a while now." I played with my hair and avoided his eyes.

"Why haven't you?"

"I just—don't know what I would do anymore. It's a really good paycheck and I have to keep paying my rent and I can barely afford it as it is right now."

I looked up to see his eyes boring into mine: soft and sad. "Why do you want to quit?" he whispered.

I sighed. "When I was a little girl, I didn't expect to be doing this. I didn't expect to be living in a shitty apartment in Seattle by myself and have a dead-end job at the most boring company in the world. I want to be something better than this; something—I don't know."

Edward set down his brush and turned his body towards mine. His eyes were so soft and bright; it made me stare into them, unable to look away.

"I didn't expect I would be this either. I didn't expect I would be this weird, anti-social—monster living by himself in the middle of the woods, not having any anyone and never talking to his own family, his own blood."

I shook my head.

_Monster?_

"You're not a monster." I whispered. "Why would you even say that?"

He clenched his eyes shut and leaned into his hands, covering his face. "No Bella, I am—I really am."

I continued to shake my head, trying to pull his hands from his face so he would look at me. "You're not." I repeated. "You're not a monster."

He let out a deep sigh and pulled back. He sat back straight into his stool and looked at me. "Please don't tell me that, _please._"

"You never know where you're going to be; you never know what's going to happen to you. But you—you have everything open and beyond in front of you." He shook his head, "and me? Well me—I have nothing. I know what I am and what I am is this." He gestured around him. "I will always be this."

"You can be so much! That's so untrue, and you know it!" I said.

He shook his head sadly, a look of pain visible on his features. "You're so nice and innocent—sweet." He took a deep breath and pushed towards me further on his stool. "I'll _ruin _you." He said sadly.

"How will you ruin me that makes no sense?"

"Because I'm selfish Bella, I feel there's no turning back."

"No turning back from what?" I shook my head in confusion, "Edward you can always—"

But before I could finish, he had my face between his hands, his lips hard and desperate against my own.


	10. Lanterns in the trees

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters.

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Chapter 10: Lanterns in the trees

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His lips pressed hard and moved around mine, forcing my lips to mold to him. He was demanding in the way he held my face, tight and affirmative but soft as his fingers delicately spread against my cheeks as if he was afraid I would almost break under the pressure of them.

Meanwhile, I stood completely frozen and unresponsive, my brain scrambling with the confusion and pure excitement of the matter. His breath was hot and sent tingles across my over-sensitized skin, only helping my brain dissolve further into its state of complete mush.

"Bella" His kisses traveled from my lips, further down across my neck. "Please" He whispered, so soft—lost in himself.

I blinked twice, tilting my head back so he continue further along my neck: soft, small kisses. The heat was euphoric: warmth spreading across my skin. My whole body felt as if someone had ignited a flame; as if all nerve endings were shot up in pure electricity.

I felt alive.

I could feel the energy coursing through my body, sending goose bumps to spread across my bare flesh; the hot tang of his breath contrasted with the cold air of the night, the smell of the shampoo he used that smelled like the pine needles of the woods and the harsh smell of the coppery paint that filled the small space of the barn. My body was on sensory overload; physical and emotional—overwhelmed.

I almost barely registered his words in the back of my brain.

_Please_

He was begging—he wants this. He wants _me; _this beautiful bronze-haired man that was panting across my neck. His hands made their way to slowly trace my waist then firmly grasp my hips, tugging me roughly to him. My body slid off the stool and I was halfway sitting on his lap. His hands frantically made their way behind me and grabbed and bunched up the ends of my hair with his fingertips, manipulating the way I titled my head to meet his.

It was then I became responsive. I felt my hands slowly come to life and move from my sides and grip onto his shoulders, successfully causing me to slide closer into him—or more on top of him. My lips moved hurried, matching his tempo and silently begged him to allow me entry by softly sucking at his lower lip.

I don't know what was happening to me. I felt consumed and completely controlled by something out of my power—above me. I had no coherent thoughts. My brain felt scrambled, as if covered by a million different blank spaces missing and over-running trying to piece there selves back together again. I felt completely without control of my own body.

I wanted this. I wanted _him _

What I wanted from him, I wasn't sure. I just needed to be closer to him, closer until I felt this barren hole inside me feel complete again; until I was left feeling satisfied. The pure heat of his lips against my bare skin left me the complete opposite of that; it just left me wanting more: More of the burn, more of the feel. It kept giving me enough to make me hung-up on the craving.

He opened his lips against mine, granting me entrance to the inside of his mouth. The heat of his mouth immediately met mine and I moaned at the feeling: the vibration causing him to shiver and pull me closer, his hands leaving my hair and softly kneading at the bare skin on my back which my t-shirt had ridden-up above. _So warm_

His tongue then met mine: wet and inviting. He was the one to moan this time at the contact; the sound spurring me on and causing me to grab onto the sides of his face and push his mouth more informative onto mine. I was desperate to hear that small little sound again; his soft sound of pleasure.

I was practically straddling his lap at this point. I couldn't bring myself to care and I don't think he minded either as his hands left my back and roughly pulled me by my hips until my knees were resting on the wood of the stool on either side of his legs. The stool was small and I had to readjust myself to fit, pulling my mouth away from him. Before I could turn back, His mouth was on mine again, desperate and needy as ever: kissing, sucking hungrily.

He finally pulled away, allowing me to choke in a breath of air. I was already ready to go back in for more after trying and failing miserably to even-out my frantic breathing. He turned his face away from mine and sucked on the spot below my jaw and close to my left ear. His was panting hard, un-even breaths to match mine. His hot breath tickling my skin once again. I closed my eyes and relished in the feeling.

This made no sense; this overwhelming desire to be closer to this man anyway I possibly could. I barely knew him if you wanted to think about it. I would be gone soon. I would be far away from this small cabin back in the wide, bright loud streets of Seattle any day now. This touch—this kiss…would all be over and done within a few days' time. It felt good now though and that's all that mattered. It felt good how it was right now—and that was enough.

I was tired of being the idealistic, straight-laced person I always made myself out to be. I just wanted this one moment where I got what I wanted. Where I—myself, chose how to feel and enjoyed myself not caring if it felt wrong or to far distanced from myself. I didn't want to feel afraid.

I just wanted to feel.

When Edward mumbled something against my skin, I felt my body crawl off his lap onto the dirt floor of the barn. He followed quickly after and like that, the door of the barn was swung open and I found myself laughing, giggling like I was a little girl again, on Charlie's shoulders running down the street: So carefree—excited. We were running, hand in hand across the dirt of the forest floor until it came to the soft grass of the meadow: the lights of the still-lit lanterns floating by on either side of us. We were running so fast they were blurred and seemed to be chasing us as we ran. The air was cold and nipped at my over-heated skin where Edward's fingers and lips had been moments ago, the sky dark besides the hundreds of scattered stars that could be seen above the pine trees. It was absolutely beautiful.

His hand was tight and warm against mine and when I looked down at him he squeezed it tighter. When I looked up into his eyes, they were vibrant green; bright with amusement. His smile was breathtakingly gorgeous: bright white teeth and a smile so wide it made his eyes crinkle. His auburn hair was flowing and covering his eyes while he ran; his long fingers traced along his brow line trying to get rid of them. He was beautiful.

I heard the back screen door slap against the wood of the cabin and before I knew it Edward had me in his arms, pressing me into the living room wall. His mouth on mine suddenly: rough and demanding, yet soft and gentle. His hands traced the sides of my waist then suddenly traveled down onto my hips, pulling them roughly into his. I felt him hard and wanting against the side of my thigh and I moaned into his mouth, causing him to move his lips to the side of my neck and suck hard. A large grunt escaped his throat and he grinded against me. I couldn't help but rub my body back against him. The friction was too good. I needed more of it, anything to satisfy this dull ache that was building inside of me.

"I've waited so long" he said before softly kissing my neck.

I was so enthralled in the pleasure of his lips of my neck; I must have mumbled something incoherent back to him. It caused him to chuckle and move his lips back up to peck me briefly on the lips. "Perfect" He whispered. He leaned his forehead onto mine and his soft breaths fanned across me, inches from my mouth. I licked my bottom lip.

_Perfect _

I opened my eyes to see his trained on me. They were darker than before when we were outside. The light from the window that crept through the window and illuminated the top part of his face, contrasted sharply with the green color making them stand out more than they usually did. I couldn't see anything else that wasn't covered by the light of the window. It was the middle of the night and all the lights in the cabin were turned off.

I could feel the way his hands roamed over my body though, needy but still polite and oh, so—Edward. The way he could be so confident and demanding yet be so shy and unsure with his demeanor made me chuckle softly into the dark. I wasn't sure if he could see my face or not as I was farther away from the window, covered by his tall form. When his hands stilled on my sides and implored me to silently answer with his open mouth and confused dark-hooded eyes, I responded with a smirk.

I reached down, grabbed his hand in mine and led him down the hallway until we reached the last door on the left side. His smile and beautiful soft, green eyes slowly faded away from the light as we moved, all moments of living life half-filled with contentment and being comfortable with nothing other than familiarity, left behind in the darkness.

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**Author Note: **Sorry to end it at such a weird time

I will be updating again soon promise

Reviews are _amazing _


	11. Door at the end of the hall

**Author note**: Hey guys, here it is! Chapter 10. I knew it took a while but i hope its worth it. The next chapter is almost done and will be posted shortly later.I was listening to this song while writing this chapter. It's really beautiful and you should look it up if you have the chance.

Radiohead/Fake Plastic Trees

_"It wears her out, it wears her out  
It wears her out, it wears her out_

_She lives with a broken man_  
_A cracked polystyrene man_  
_Who just crumbles and burns_

Disclaimer: Everything related to Twilight and its characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I own the plot of Blank Spaces

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Chapter 11: Door at the end of the hall

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The light was faded and murky beyond the small curtain of his bedroom window, casting light onto the sea of white bedding before us. His mouth was heavy and wet on my own, the weight of his body pressing me down into the mattress. I reached my fingers and twisted them in his hair which was now sticking to his forehead from sweat but still soft as ever and that strange, auburn color that even stood out vivid in color with little to no light; That and his eyes. His eyes: green and resigned looking when he pulled away from my face to look down, were soft, glazed, almost—tired, tired like a man who had just came home years later from winning a battle far off in another part of the world.

His look was so entrancing, locked into mine that I found myself struggling to maintain eye contact. I grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him to me as I laid my back against the soft material of his bedding. My actions were becoming uncharacteristic; bold. I found myself almost reflexively pulling him closer and pushing harder against him. My brain not nearly moving quick enough to match my actions. The pleasure was blinding, keeping me ignorant to everything around me. Somewhere deep in my subconscious, I knew this. Another part didn't care—just wanted to keep feeling that same feeling.

He dropped his face into the crook of my neck. "Bella" he whispered. His breathing was hard and rushed, fanning across my skin and against my jaw. He moved his kisses upwards and mumbled my name again, his hands making their way up until they were tracing the contours of my cheekbones. I managed to catch a glimpse of his eyes: foggy green, hooded with dark lashes. His mouth was then on mine not rough but gentle, a different rhythm.

"Tell me you want this" he said after his lips released mine.

We lay for a while: me sprawled across the white linen of his bed sheet with his on top of me, his mouth inches away from my own. My chest was rising and falling rapidly trying to even out the hurried race of adrenaline that was rising throughout me and filled my body. When I finally managed to catch my breath and open my eyes, he was staring down at me with almost a worried look. His hair was wild and matted across his forehead in spots, his skin pale in the light of the window.

I most of not answered for a while because he bent his face closer to mine and looked straight into my eyes.

"Bella, please answer" He whispered.

His breathing was almost more frantic than mine; ruining the calming vibe he was trying to send to me. His eyes looked tired and worn; sad even. They were always a passage into his emotions, something consistent in the man whom seemed so barren and unexposed to others.

I felt as if the light from the window had gotten brighter and my body had gotten heavier against the mattress; my movements against his body had gotten slower. "I don't think this is right" I managed to choke out. I felt light-headed, dizzy, the room around me spinning. Nothing seemed to add up; nothing made sense in this whirlwind of sensory blindness. The touch, the smell, the sounds—it was all overwhelmingly distracting.

I've never done anything like this before. I've only had sex with two people in my entire twenty three years. Both were long time boyfriends. Mike Newton, who I dated, most of my high school life, took about a year to finally initiate anything close to sex with my passiveness and his shy personality. Mike could be described by others as bland and/or boring. I'd—have to agree. The sex felt like that as well. I loved that boy sure, but there was always something missing with him. Never felt new or exciting. It always felt calculated: Every touch, movement, word.

My other long-term boyfriend was a man named Riley. Riley Biers. 24 years old, somewhere now enrolled in a law school down south. I met him when we both fresh out of high school enrolled in Forks community college, back when I was young and had motivation for days, wanted to be a writer. He was charismatic and I was coming down from a hard break-up. He took me to get a pizza down at Georgio's on the campus avenue then soon followed were on his mother's couch kissing like we didn't give a care in the world. Next thing I know, he's flying out south saying something about leaving this town and getting into something bigger and better, law school, Get a degree, make money, have a life you always wanted, a life we wanted, come with me baby.

Well I didn't want that.

He said, You don't know what you want Izzy.

Sure knew I didn't want to be living somewhere off in the south, alone waiting for boyfriend to get home from law school. I couldn't leave everyone like that—couldn't leave Jasper, Charlie. He packed up his suitcase and was running down the gate to catch the next plane leaving me alone and with another blank space left in my heart to fill.

Riley was a good guy, selfish as hell though. That was the case in both guys followed after lasting one date with short, clipped conversations and that dry smile that left you with a bitter taste in your mouth, All the same.

But Edward

Edward

Something was just _different_ about him.

"Why isn't it right" Edward asked pushing his lips hard into my own, snapping me back into reality. This was happening now. Forget about the past, I wanted to tell myself. This is happening now. Its palpable and real and what you've been waiting for, take it. I lived too much in the past, Loved the moments of distant nostalgic happiness that I was blind to when something was happening, something worth wild.

His kisses grew harder and more desperate, trying to convince me. The way he looked so distanced, lost in the eyes, led me to believe he was trying to convince himself as well. "Why isn't it right" he said again before pushing his lips once more almost to the point where I had to pull him off for air.

"It just doesn't seem right" I choked out when he let up for air.

His brow was creased and his eyes narrowed.

"Does it not feel right? He slid down and molded his hips into mine for emphasis. _Oh._ He was hard, really hard, warmth and flesh. I couldn't help but slide back against him, pushing against the hardness, reveling in the friction.

He grunted. "Your body _uh _says differently." His mouth was silently parted open and he was inhaling deep breaths, shuddering on the ends. His hair fell down and tickled against the skin of my face. It spelt like woods and paint from outside, heavy and strong, muscular—familiar. I inhaled in the scent and laid my head back as his mouth quickly followed behind to lie against my neck.

Familiar

My senses were filled of him, longed for him. They knew of him and didn't want to stop when they found him. This all seemed oh, so wrong. But Edward—Edward for some reason, felt right. This wasn't about having sex and feeling good. For some reason it felt like more. Not love but just the feeling to be close to someone else, to have another person feel the same as you are. I wanted to feel what he felt. It was about him, being with _him_. Whatever the hell that meant.

This wasn't foreign; this wasn't unnerving. This would never be wrong. It was Edward and for some reason I felt like I knew him, _really _knew him. If that makes me sound like a sad, naïve girl then I guess I was. Even when things felt unsure and different and unpredictable, I felt safe with him. I wanted to be with him. It felt known.

Familiar doesn't have to mean used to. It just needs to be some sort of refuge in a place where all other things seem distance and alone. Maybe it was the being alone in a small cabin together wrapped around the dark trees of the forest away from everyone else. It reminded me of my psychology class back in high school and the well-known case of Stockholm syndrome: an emotional attachment to a captor formed by a hostage as a result of continuous stress, dependence, and a need to cooperate for survival. We talked about how sometimes captured hostages from some kidnapping cases might feel as if they become caring or almost "in love" with their captor because it's all they become accustomed to know.

Edward was not my captor.

But did I feel trapped, like I could not escape? I had free will to leave whenever his truck was fixed. I could leave.

My thoughts became clouded and unimportant when I felt the hot touch of his fingers touch my bare skin once again. Edward was familiar, even his un-known touch to my torso felt recognizable. It felt as if he had always been there yet the feeling was new and coursed through my veins with fire, more need, A never ending vicious circle, only ending with more and more fuel thrown and added into the fire. The flames were destined to rise and take over everything with their entirety.

"Sweet, sweet Bella" he mumbled. I almost didn't hear his tone was so quiet.

My brain was in whiplash. The emotion of soft, gentle touch meshed with hard demands and tight holds against my hips. I groaned and slid back down into him to prove my point.

Damn it, I needed this. I didn't want to think anymore, I just wanted to feel his hands as they explored me. He was still over me as I slid further into him and pushed him until he was lying on his back across the white linens. He stared up at me, his eyes bright and his chest moving silently with his breathing. Auburn locks tangled and thrown in wild disarray and pale skin in the light of the far window.

_Beautiful_

I stood before him on the ground before the bed. My hands tightened into fists at my side, fighting the urge to rush, to feel to burn out quick and fast in procession. I didn't want that though. I felt my hands loosen into light touches against my legs. I wanted this to go slow, simmering heat. I wanted to savor.

Without a word, I silently laid beside him on the side next to him. I tentatively reached out a hand and laid it against his stomach. His muscles in his abdomen almost immediately contracted, a shaky breath leaving him. "Bella" he whispered softly, almost in plea.

I was too far gone. His words faintly singing in the back of my head, echoing, my touch pressed harder against his skin. I began to feel more bold and explorative. My fingers sprawled out to the touch the bare skin where his t-shirt had ridden before the denim waist-line of his jeans.

A moan escaped him this time; a sexy, damn distracting moan. My efforts in trying to draw this out and take it slow were on a dangerously low level of success right now. He was just so tempting without even knowing it and I—well; I was just a puppet to him, a string puppet in which he had control. I wish I could have been angry for it, but I couldn't be. I willingly let him control me.

And I was not going to stop this for anything.

Still laying my hand against his torso, I leaned in closer to him and placed my lips against his, hard and molding against his. He liked it like this. He liked it like I did: soft and gentle but needy and rough when you both could sense it was needed, what you wanted.

Bella today, was getting what she wanted.

And it started with this

"Your shirt" I breathed when his lips left mine. He nodded fiercely, eyes glazed. I reached down and hooked both of my hands onto the bottom hem of his T-shirt and lifted it up. He raised his arms allowing me to pull it above his head and throw it somewhere far into the background.

His chest was pale in the moonlight, rippled and taught. I probably had the same look he wore right about now, weary, out of place. My hands were almost shaking with the need to touch him.

"Touch me" He said, reading my mind. "Please" he whispered, looking up at me, his mouth parted open and his eyes hooded as before.

_Oh, Fuck. _

I nodded and tentatively reached my hand and placed it on his abdomen like I did earlier. He took in another deep breath, closing his eyes and leaning his head further back into the comforter. His torso moved up and down where my hand was places, matching to the pace of his uneven breaths.

I stared at my hand as it stood frozen against his skin. My eyes then shot up to his face. He was still leaning against the comforter, eyes closed. He looked so calm—at peace. My look returned to my hand.

_Don't be a coward_

I nodded to myself and took in a shaky breath. Meanwhile, moving my hand further south slowly until it reached the waist line of his jeans. I felt his breathing stop. I was pretty sure mine did too. Time stopped in general almost as if the breeze from the window had stopped mid-air and the all sounds other the ones we were making ceased to exist.

I looked back to his face to see him looking at me now from his hooded lashes. He was waiting for me to make the initial move, he was gauging my emotions. He looked on encouragingly almost to show me it was okay. This was okay.

I nodded to myself and slowly slid both of my hands until they were placed onto his covered thighs and leaned in closer towards him. His hips pressed up searching for friction, an almost soft whimper escaping him. I leaned in and pressed a chaste peck onto his lips which were swollen and pink from previous kisses. They were soft and damp and I had to forcibly remove myself from them so I continue on with what I was doing. It was now or never.

I let one of my fingers reach and draw a line down the center of his jeans, where it was hard and strained. He practically bucked off the bed with that movement. It felt so good to be like this: soft and gentle in pace; explorative, like two people experiencing each other for the first time.

"Uh" he moaned. "Please, I need— these off." His hands made their way to mine and quickly helped me pull down his jeans until they gathered at his ankles and fell to a puddle on the floor. He laid now before me in nothing other than simple silk black boxer briefs. They were tented in the middle which met to the designed "v" shape where he was thick and hard, His muscles physically relaxing without the strain of the jeans.

He laid down now besides me and laced his fingers under the end of the shirt he let me borrow. "Is this okay?" he asked.

I nodded.

He didn't need any more convincing, before my t-shirt was up and over me, thrown off the bed to fall with his clothes on the floor. Before he could ask, I reached down and pulled off my sweatpants so we now lying side by side with him in nothing other than his boxer briefs and me with nothing other than my bra and panties. The bra was acceptable but I still had those ugly Pikachu underwear on that Jasper gave me from Christmas. If I ever saw him again, I was going to tell him the story about how I was about to have sex with a guy and I had Pokémon underwear on.

_If I ever saw him again? _Of course I was going to. I cringed at the thought, trying to block it out of my head. I didn't want to think about that, not right now.

At least i was wearing these and not the boxers Edward let me borrow. How embarrassing if we were laying next to one another both wearing the same kind of underwear. The image caused me to laugh.

"What?" he asked with a hesitant smile.

"Oh, nothing" I smiled, leaning in closer to him.

"Tell me" he whispered, closing the distant to kiss me on the neck. He kisses traveled down my neck leaving a trail of hot, wet, fire across my skin.

"I, um was just thinking about my underwear and how lame I probably look at the moment."

The kisses on my neck stopped abruptly and were replaced by a deep chuckle: a lovely, deep sound unlike anything I've ever heard before, so genuine and real. He looked up to me with bright eyes and a bright smile that I couldn't help but smile a big smile back at him.

"Bella you are the most beautiful, kind, funny—interesting person I've ever met in my life. You're nobody else, nothing else, a fire in a dark, empty room."His eyes glanced down to my underwear and then back to my face. He leaned his head close to mine so are foreheads touched, "interesting." Based on the way his hands held my hips against his own and lips began to part slowly as they got closer towards mine, it was about to become interesting.

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**Author note:** Thoughts?


	12. Silent promise

Disclaimer: Everything related to Twilight and its characters belongs to Stephenie Meyer. The plot line of Blank Spaces is my original work.

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Chapter 12: Silent promise

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.

.

The soft sounds of pleasure filled the room. The continued touching and kissing seemed almost to be tortuous, satisfying for the moment but never feeling complete. I wanted more with every passing moment when the intensity could be felt almost physically growing throughout the room by the way the words and touching grew heavier and more desperate. By the way he tightly held my hips to match his; I could tell his thoughts didn't stray far from mine.

I heard him gulp. I watched in fascination as his Adam's apple bobbed slowly in his throat under his straight, cut jawline that could have any woman dropping to the ground and praying mercy.

"Bella can I um—" he removed one of the hands that was on my hips and hooked his fingers underneath the wiring in the back of my bra.

I nodded, probably a little too eagerly.

He seemed distracted. His eyes were focused on my chest, his breath held in his throat. He kept his fingers around the thin material as he laced his fingers to unclip the hooks in the back.

When I heard the audible snap, my bra fell limp around my shoulders, exposing me to him. The window drew in cold air and made me instinctively want to cover myself. My skin pebbled and rose with small goose bumps all over.

I think he mistook me for being shy as his look of wonder turned into one of question.

"Beautiful" he whispered. He did not take his eyes away from my chest which looked so pale from the light of the moon it could only be described as white. His hands made their way to hold mine so I didn't cover myself, as if he were coaxing me.

I couldn't help but feel embarrassed as I lay on the bed in front of him. All of his bronze hair stuck and wild and his eyes bright with excitement.

He was breath taking.

He moved his hand as if to move lower but he suddenly halted. He looked like he was having some sort of internal struggle: his jaw clenched and his brows tightly knit together. After a moment, he took in a deep breath and looked up at me through his dark lashes as in silent question.

"Yes"

The ending symbol hung in the air above us. I wanted him to know it was okay. It was.

His hand silently reached up until he reached a soft patch of skin which normally would be covered by the ending material of the bra. He looked at me as he slowly lowered his head, his eyes never leaving mine.

_Oh, god. _

His lips silently parted.

_Yes._

He rested his head against the crook of my neck, leaving a chaste kiss to where my shoulder met my neck. His mouth then slowly began to trail kisses downwards, leaving a hot trail of fire when his lips parted.

His mouth finally reached the indent of my cleavage. He closed his eyes, reaching over so he had an arm over each side of my body supporting himself. "I can't believe this is happening" he said so silently that I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it at all.

His nose then became slowly nuzzled into where my breasts met and his mouth turned sideways to gently kiss tortuously close to one of my nipples.

"Ah" I croaked out, instinctively reaching into his hair with one of my hands to pull him closer. He moaned against my skin and I swore I could of came undone right then and there. The sound was pure sex. His hands became more confident and bold with exploration even through soft caresses.

Before I knew it, the softness of his lips was covering me. I practically jumped off the bed. His hair fell from his forehead and tickled my bare skin only increasing the amount of different sensations. I struggled to catch my breath and calm myself, wanting to level out my mind set.

I tried—and did not succeed.

"Edward" I said suddenly.

"Hmm" he mumbled cutely against my skin.

_Oh, not helping. Uh_

"Now" I panted.

His eyes shot up to catch mine, dark brown to the wild green that was spreading along his irises. So primal and hot. He seemed to understand the universal meaning of what the word 'now' meant when you both laying half naked on top of each other.

His lips returned to my lips from my chest, pushing hard. I moaned against them when the pure adrenaline of need coursed like a physical presence around the room. He smiled against me, breaking the connection. He looked so happy and carefree it made my heart hurt.

I placed my hand on his bare abdomen and felt his muscles take in a fast breath of air, his muscles contracting. He was still above me so I shifted my body to place both my hands on his stomach. I looked into his eyes to see some sort of signal to stop but there was none. His lips were slightly parted and his eyes were dark and narrowed. Something still lingered deep and hooded beneath his lashes.

It was a sense of awe.

I slowly brought my hands to his hips on either side, tracing the band of his boxers. He nodded slowly before taking in a shuddering breath and dropping his head to rest on my shoulder.

He mumbled something unclear into my skin.

Collecting my senses after a moment of the hearing the wind cross through the window, I hooked my fingers into the waistband and pulled down until he was completely naked hovering above me. I threw them somewhere in the darkened room, now focused on my underwear pulling them down quickly and throwing them somewhere in the same direction as Edward's.

We were both naked.

I think the realization hit both of us as he removed his head from my shoulder to look into my eyes. I couldn't help but smile. I was nervous maybe but I couldn't help the blush that crept through my cheeks and made me smile up towards him. I felt giddy.

He smiled back, placing his nose against mine, his beautiful white teeth standing out in dim lighting among his other noticeable features.

He shook his head against me as thinking silent thoughts to himself. I wish I knew what he was thinking now. I would kill to hear if he was having any doubts or any straying thoughts. Flashbacks of him of him in the kitchen yelling at me to hear my thoughts, silent nights on the porch and walks through the woods talking about isolation and tearing it apart from others flooded me. It was understandable, to want to hear the thoughts and fears of someone close to you, someone you—cared about. Maybe at this point, it helped me understand what I knew as Edward: the outcast of his own mind. I wanted to go exploring deeper into it for reasons unknown to me, frightening reasons.

When lips are collide and are minds don't. Was Edward truly telling the truth of being able to read inside people's thoughts? He couldn't be. Edward couldn't be mentally ill though. I refused to believe it. This night all I wanted was to feel with him and not think. I just wanted this one night. A night before realization and clear thinking stopped me from what I wanted yet again.

When he was hot and hard against the inside on my thigh, I felt all coherent mind set flushed out of my system and replaced with pure want. I held his bodies closer to me, sweat shared between the two of us. It was like lovers whom known each other for decades. It was just Edward and me.

There was just something so _right._

Edward's hands made their way to my hips and I slowly spread my legs more for him to fit between. His hands were shaky and still with his breaths to calm himself. It reminded me of the little scared man trapped within him, trying to break down walls but not having near enough strength.

We were similar in ways. Needing to stop over thinking and give in. Maybe we could help each other. I found his hands on my hips and laced them between my fingers, slowly sliding down so his erection slid against the index of my thighs. I bit the side of my mouth to hold in the sound that threatened to spill. I couldn't hold out much longer. This needed to happen and it needed to happen soon.

"Edward" I said, breathless and pleading.

He nodded, the same emotion crossing his face. "You never have to beg"

He laid down flatter against me and positioned himself at my entrance. He took a sharp breath and it was then he entered me, slow and pushing through the barrier. He grunted, screwing his eyes shut tight, his mouth slightly quivering with the need to go faster.

I couldn't help it and I let out a small cry, almost one in victory. This was happening—and it was glorious. I let go on his hands that were laced with mind on either side of us and grabbed onto his shoulders for support.

It was good but I could tell he was holding back too much.

"Faster" I breathed. He responded with a quick thrust that pushed me back on the bed and was followed by a strangled noise coming from either him or me. His movements quickened in pace and depth, pushing me further into the mattress with each thrust. It was need and desperation in physical form. It was like rising scorching flames, even with the cold breeze over our bare skin and the cold material of the duvet cover.

His breaths were fast and labored in my ear. Everything was coming down to this. He kissed along the line of my collar bone, up along my jawline and back to softly kissing and whispering unintelligible words into my ear before softly covering it with his lips. His breath was hot and slick.

"Edward" I yelped, digging my fingers into his back.

He responded with an animal-like grunt, so primal and rough. He wrapped himself closer into my body as if protecting me or himself. "Don't leave me alone" he whispered loud enough for me to hear. "Stay" he choked out the last symbol still hanging in the air when he gave me one last, rough thrust.

He cried out, spilling himself into me. His cry died out into soft pants and moans as he stayed inside me, moving to a softer tempo. I felt a rising pressure deep within my stomach and before I knew I was clinging onto his body holding him down onto me. The sensation exploded sending tingles across my skin and leaving me heavy and sedated on the soft bedding beneath him. The sounds of our breathing as we tried to come back down from our high were the only noise besides the soft sounds of the wind and the animals in the forest. My mind was too drained to think of anything.

I laid my head against his bare chest and leaned into his side, smelling the familiar, sharp forest smell of pine needles and paint before my eyes grew heavy and I was asleep.

~X~

I was awoken by soft lips and warm fingers across my back.

"Hmm?" I mumbled, rolling over to smash my face into a pillow.

A laugh, rough and deep caused my eyes to fly open. I flipped my body over to be immediately struck with the vision of harsh sunlight spilling through the windows and an extremely hot naked man lying on his side facing me.

I blinked my eyes, trying to adjust them to the sunlight and make sure I was really seeing what I was seeing. I blinked again to make sure.

"Hi"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Hi" I said groggily, rolling over on my side to face him as well.

His arm reached over and grabbed my hip gently; pulling me so I was lined against him. He kissed my mouth and my nose with a soft closed-mouth kiss. He moved his mouth next to my ear.

"Good morning" he breathed his mouth warm and inviting with the cold morning breeze. The window was still open from last night. The bed was so warm underneath his heavy comforter I didn't see any way I was going to get up anytime soon.

My stomach decided against that with a loud protest. My mind flashed to the fridge and the ham Edward had in the bottom drawer, _Oh!_ And the cinnamon toast in the cabinet. I licked my lips.

My eyes flashed back to focus on Edward. He was smiling across from me, amused. I rolled my eyes trying to be annoyed with him but instead just leaned closer into his body for the warmth.

_So warm_

I wrapped the top part of my body into his, my arms and face burrowed into his chest. trying to ignore the sharp pang in my stomach. It growled again.

"Hungry" he asked, still smiling.

I sighed, nodding against him.

"I'll make you breakfast in a little while, just stay here for a minute" he mumbled, rolling me onto my back and making me laugh. "Edward, what are—" I felt him pulsing and rock hard against my stomach.

_Oh, good morning indeed._

Without much protest I slid against him, ineffectively holding back a moan.

"I'm hungry though, let's eat _and_ I'll make it" I said laughing, still biting the inside of my mouth so I didn't make too much noise when he was so close and the friction between us was so good. I wasn't really in the mood for breakfast anymore.

He gave a look of horror, furrowing his eyebrows together. "Do I have to remind you what happened last time?" he whispered kissing my bottom lip.

"C'mon" I said, pushing back towards him with my hips.

I was rewarded with a deep, guttural grunt and hips hands grasping at my hips, holding me down playfully.

"No, please stay" he said, pouting out his bottom lip.

His words were similar to words spoken before, words distance and foggy in the past.

_Last night_

_Sweaty Bronze hairs tickling my bare skin_

_Cold air and dark sky_

_Shaking fingers_

_Needy whispers and moans_

"_Don't leave me alone"_

"_Stay"_

Now that I was in the present and looking at sweet morning Edward. All I could see was the lost boy trapped by himself unable to flee. He was all alone and isolated. The boy trying to break down the walls but not having the strength.

When he kissed my lips and pressed down harder against me, he effectively won the argument and i didn't leave.

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**Author note**: Be gentle with me. Thoughts?

I'm going to be fixing some of the chapters with the chapter titles and correct chapter #'s so sorry if there is confusion.


	13. Captain Swan

**Author Note: **Here you go another chapter. I'm trying a hand at EPOV so be kind. The chapter song ironically is one of my favorite songs, and has Isabella in the title.

Starfucker/Isabella of Castile

_I know you have to go,  
but I want to keep you to myself,  
like a dream, I can tell  
you'll never be all mine_

Disclaimer: Everything Twilight related belongs to Stephenie Meyer as always

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Chapter 13: Captain Swan

Edward POV

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I couldn't seem to remember a morning quite as sweet as this one. The cold air was now becoming warm and softly blowing through the kitchen window and Bella was playing with the bare skin of my back. It was absolute heaven.

The farthest I would ever come to it.

I stood in front of the stove, flipping some ham over with a spatula while she said sweet things at my side and giggled at her own words. I couldn't seem to focus in on them. My mind was moving in a million different directions: guilt, fear, smothered joy. All I saw were piled on images, thrown together in disarray.

_Me with a panicked look on my face, searching the streets_

_Her orange truck and fire, torches_

_Throwing orange metal into my truck bed, over and over into a pattern_

_Sleepless nights, crawling into bed when the sun was new and barely over the hills_

I cringed at the thought. I was sickening. I put in so much effort just to keep her, just so she wouldn't leave me. I was no better than a kidnapper. I saw the look in her eyes whenever she talked about Seattle: bright and wistful. She missed it. She wanted to go back.

I kept her here, for no reasonable explanation except selfish gain.

I wanted her. I wanted her warm skin on a cold morning and her sarcastic little bits of humor when I was left alone with the pain of loneliness at nighttime. I wanted her faint sounds of her singing smothered by the sounds of the shower. I wanted to see her sitting on the couch reading an old novel of mine, wearing my clothes.

I wanted someone who was there.

If I let her go, who knows how often she'd visit? She'd have work, she'd hang out with her Seattle friends, and she'd do errands. She would always be too tired to take a drive and just hang out with me. I'd rarely ever see her.

The thought was just too much to bear with.

For one fleeting moment, I almost wish her car didn't break down. I wish she kept on driving and never in her whole entire life ever knew of the small cabin in the woods. I wish she never met me, and kissed me.

I wish I never met her. I wish she didn't expose me to this and what there is to know.

She was like heroin and I've had a horrible relapse. After last night, I just set myself a ways back in progress. I didn't want to be clean though.

That night on the couch when we first met, I swore I almost kissed her—or she almost kissed me. Her beautiful, pale skin and full lips so close. That was the moment I knew I was in trouble. I knew I should of drove her to town that very night and let her call for help to get back to the city. My truck was perfectly functioning. I mean it was just one damn cable that needed to be fixed not this whole engine escapade I've been filling her head with. The truck could have been up and running in five minutes tops and on its way down the road.

That once again flung the question back at me.

_Why did you lie? _

I always brushed the question aside; filling my mind with other more ignorantly happy things like Bella's laugh and the way she ran across the grass with her beautiful, brunette hair long and wavy around one of her shoulders, her sweet smile.

I guess in a sense that answered my question.

She made me feel like I wasn't just this blank shell. She filled me with a reason to wake up in the morning as pathetic as it sounded. I didn't have to wake up to the sounds of the annoyingly familiar forest sounds and the hum of appliances echoing in the sad, little empty house. I woke up to her warm arms wrapped around me and her sweet words in my ear.

God, why would I let it get this far? I've ruined myself with her.

I turned into something I didn't want to be, spending night a pond night with little to no sleep, taking apart bits of her car metal with torch and screwdrivers, wire cutters and throwing them into my truck bed, scattering evidence in the way back of the forest line. I'd empty a load from the back of my truck and quickly return to the main road, reload the scrap metal, and then drive my truck back to the unloading zone.

It would be like Bella's truck never was on the side of the road. The crash never happened. As far as I'm concerned, Bella has never passed through this area of the woods. No chance of a stray driver passing by and reporting a lost vehicle, license plate number.

I shuddered at the thought. The police would be on this area like a swarm of bees. The Seattle police department would be knocking on my door holding a picture of Bella asking if I'd seen this missing person. She'd come running to the door with absolute relief on her face, pushing aside me like I was nothing, running to the police car and back to the city. She'd be gone. Even in the sick vision, I felt my heart break into a million pieces watching her leave like she couldn't get away fast enough.

It wouldn't happen. It was my sick way of trying to console myself. I was _glad_ that wouldn't happen. I was happy she would be remaining a missing person. I was sure there were lots of people searching. Her face was probably plastered all over on telephone poles and people were staying up late on telephones looking for leads on the case.

If you really cared about the girl, wouldn't you want her to be happy though? All reasonable thoughts but I was not in the mood to be reasonable. She was happier with me, I could sense it. She had to be. It's the only thing that was going to keep my sanity boat afloat. She was the captain and I was the lone passenger. I'd go where she'd go. I could almost hear the waves crashing and her spinning the wheel. My imagination was truly wild and different than others, making me think delusional thoughts to overcome feeling of guilt and other undesirable emotions. I was accustomed as a child to escape to my own mind rather than face the multiple flung thoughts of others in a hostile environment. I felt safe here. I felt safe with Bella alone in my mind where no one could find us or take her away.

We were still on the boat and she was laughing, squinting her eyes because the sun was in her face.

"This is fun!"

She pulled her sunglasses down and smiled at me. She was wearing a blue and white striped bikini top with denim shorts. The sun was shining off her skin and the wind played with her sea-tangled hair making her seem like a lost demi god standing across the deck. She didn't look much like a captain but I'd take this version any day.

I smiled back at her, leaning against the railing. I admired her from afar. Her beautiful curves and the way her hands moved over the wheel entranced me. If heaven existed, i knew this was probably it. I looked in front of me to see clear, blue waters as far out beyond my vision. Waves were crashing along the length of the boat. We were truly alone and away from all trouble, all worry.

"Edward!" she yelled trying to get my attention. I walked over to her side of the deck.

"Hmm?" When I got close enough behind her, I held her close to my chest. Even in my imagination, her skin was warm and she smelled like strawberries.

The wind began to pick up and she held on closer to the wheel. Her look of pure excitement turned into pure dread.

"We're heading into some rough waters." As if on cue, the boat creaked and the sails flung forwards rapidly. The bright blue waters turned dark and menacing.

"Edward" she said again, turning back to look at me with a panicked expression, her hair whipping around to cover part of her face.

No, not now. This can't happen in my mind; this is supposed to be a safe place, my haven. It's supposed a place separate from all stuff like this! I should have known with Bella everything was different. I had no defenses against her but she had them all locked on me. Everything I knew was falling to pieces, everything was going to be different. I just needed to learn how to grab the wheel and keep it, us—me from sinking. God this was supposed to be my happy place not a god damn metaphor.

"Edward!" she said while she held half the wheel and I held the other.

Her tone was different more smothered, her face was fading and my vision was becoming hazy leaving me unable to focus clearly.

"Edward!" she said again. She seemed to be saying my name a lot.

"It's burning"

That my attention. Next thing I know, Bella's grabbing a pan and throwing in the sink, throwing the lever of cold water on. Fire in the pan is being smothered and steam began to fill the kitchen. I'm standing there in complete shock in front of the stovetop still, watching her trying to throw the kitchen window further open to let the smoke outside. Steam is filling the kitchen quickly and Bella is then swatting it away with her hand, while trying to cover her eyes with the other.

When the steam slowly subsided, she was standing in the middle of the kitchen with her hands on her hips and bent forward trying to catch her breath.

"Damn Ed, I go to the bathroom for three minutes at most and the kitchen is about to go up in flames!" Her words come out clipped and rushed with air.

"Seriously what are we going to do with us, without one another were going on bad path of destruction."

_You have no idea sweet Bella_

"I guess we make a good pair." I said with my words were able to catch up to my brain. I dropped the spatula onto the counter and rubbed my hand through my hair. She smirked at me and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Yeah, a great pair of pyromaniacs" she scoffed.

"Why didn't you flip the ham, did you just zone out?" She chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her head.

"Yeah you could say that" I said sheepishly while avoiding my eyes from her. I did not want to go into depth at all about what or why I was zoning out about.

She shook her head and laughed. "Going to your happy place" She said while turning around and putting soap on a sponge, trying to probably scrap the pile of burnt on ash that was once known as our breakfast.

I chuckled to myself silently as she had no idea.

I followed behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. It was just like in my vision except she was wearing my t-shirt instead of a bikini top and the only sound of water was that now of the kitchen sink.

"This is my happy place" I whispered in her ear, before kissing it. I felt her stop her hand movement and shiver, one that transferred into my body like electricity. Oh, I would never stop wanting Bella. This truly was my place of joy, one I have arguably never felt before. Inside my head was the fabricated, imaginable Bella but here was the sweet reality which was a million times better than the former.

Bella was different. Maybe I would need to start acting differently when dealing with her. Instead of trying to escape like I did with so many others, into my own mind and thoughts, I would need to stay and face the reality. Maybe reality wasn't as bad as my former way of living had presented it. Bella was starting to help me realize that.

~X~

"Dinner Es' served"

"See I knew you had potential, this looks really good!" I beamed, stroking her lower back.

"I guess I just never really tried to cook since Jasper always did it and when he was gone Top Ramen and take out is so easy" She smiled back, seeming proud of herself.

I removed my hand and moved over to the cupboards to take down plates and silverware.

"You know I'm truly surprised you are not five hundred pounds" I said turning away from her to set the table so she didn't see the huge smirk on my face. When I turned back around she was standing right behind me with a dinner bowl and a look of mock anger.

"Here let me take this before you throw it at me" I said. I grabbed the bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce, not even trying to back my laughter now.

She sighed.

"I wouldn't. We don't have much food left anyway"

I felt the smile wipe clear off my face.

_Shit, I didn't even think of that!_

What was I going to do when the food ran out? Oh, god this isn't good. I would have to go into town and get more—but then she'd know about the truck! I had no other choice but to let her go if it got to a point of extreme shortage. Was I as desperate to go run out and hunt us some squirrels just so I could buy some more time to make a food plan for us.

I set the bowl of dinner down and ran past her to the fridge. I looked inside and I found not a lot of food but enough to last a while longer. That was if we were pushing it. I mean cutting rations, kind of pushing it. There were a lot of condiments: Mustard, Ketchup, Soy sauce but not a lot of substantial food. There was some Eggs left over, Chicken, Ham, Some frozen TV dinners but that was about it. That would last a couple more days with two people and three meals a day. This was not good.

I felt the sharp, familiar pang of panic creeping up my spine. I reached one of my hands in my hair and tugged hard into my hair.

_Oh, god. _

What was I supposed to do in a couple days? I couldn't even think of it without making myself go into a full-blown panic attack. I took a couple deep breaths. I was glad I was facing away from Bella and she couldn't see how I was on the verge of freaking out. When I glanced over my shoulder, she was singing to herself and dropping spaghetti onto both of our plates, completely unfazed.

It's been a long time coming. C'mon Edward it's not like you could just keep her here _forever_. Someone would have found her, food or some other toiletry would have ran out or she would finally question why the hell I haven't gotten the truck to work in all this time.

I mean today when she was watching me mess around with the truck; she asked how much longer it would take. I just laughed and said I'm not sure when in reality I was tugging and pulling out wires that didn't need to be touched, just for show. I always pretended to get tired and asked her to go on a walk or go inside. She never questioned it and silently followed me away from the truck.

She was going to have to leave eventually. Well, not if I can help it. It feels like I just got her. I have put in a lot of effort to keep her here. I was just going to have to try harder.


	14. Isabella lost in the lights

The Smiths/ Please, Please, Please, Let me get what i want

_So please please please _  
_Let me, let me, let me _  
_Let me get what I want _  
_This time_

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I own the plot of Blank Spaces.

* * *

Chapter 14: Isabella lost in the lights

.

A while had passed since the night of the fall in the woods. Some days went by quick while others dragged horribly. As you could imagine, there was little to nothing to do here in a little cabin in the middle of nowhere. Most of the time, I sat next to Edward and watched as he painted the different landscapes and designs for his collections. As time passed I was beginning to realize something.

Without Edward staying here by myself for days on end would be absolute hell. The only thing that got be through the days sometimes was the conversations we had. Without any human contact at all I would surely have gone mad. I had absolutely no idea how Edward managed to live like this. How could a man possible _survive _without the warmth of another's touch or just simple interaction for a connection to reality?

How much longer would he stay here, the rest of his life?

How much longer would _I_ stay here? I would have to leave, without question. People probably think I've run off or gotten robbed and kidnapped by a crazed gunman. I couldn't handle knowing if they were worried about me; worried if I was still—alive. They would have no leads. Hell, if they had leads I would be sitting in my Seattle apartment right now.

I would be sitting in my old torn-up couch I got from the salvation army when I was a kid. I would be staring out the window, listening to the sounds of the cars passing by. There would be no auburn-haired boy with me.

My heart ached for a second.

_Edward_

God I couldn't just leave him. He would have to come with me. He would come live in my apartment with me and he could bring all his art supplies and completely overtake my living room with them. I didn't care.

I just wanted to wake up to his laughter and smell him on my sheets. I just wanted to be with him.

But sweet visions of what could be were always far-off and clouded by not being reasonable, one of my many specialties. Edward was a loner. He had been that way for years. He's told me on many different occasions that he doesn't like big crowds or people for that matter. He would hate the city and the loud cars and loud yelling between the vendors and the people down walking the streets.

He'd be absolutely— miserable.

I would be beyond a feeling of happiness I did not deserve. I would kiss him when I wake up and he would give a sweet smile of reassurance but deep down, he didn't want to be there. I was the only reason he'd be somewhere he was completely and utterly uncomfortable. I don't know if I could live with that. The resentment would surely show after a while. I didn't want to see his calmed and relaxed exterior slowly turn bitter and offer me nothing but thoughts of how he used to be, how we used to be.

He surely showed signs of some mental disorder but of what I was unsure. He could show signs of being schizophrenic: unable to distinguish between the real and unreal. Saying he could read minds and they 'encased' and 'controlled' him. Being in an unfamiliar environment may cause his symptoms to significantly worsen.

Edward living in Seattle, simply, was out of the cards.

Could I really manage to stay out here? Did I care for him that much to basically surrender my life to a man I've known for only a few weeks, give up all my progress in work and relations to other people?

I couldn't survive like this either, without any human contact. It's absolutely mad.

Did I really care that much…

Would it even matter though, it could be a long time coming till the question even needed an answer. When was Edward going to get the truck fixed or when was someone going to find me?

The time was becoming an issue. Would the search parties stop looking for me after a certain reached date? I mean they're had to be search parties. Someone would have had to known I was missing and showed up to my apartment or called my work to find me—something. The search parties probably wouldn't stop anytime soon. My father being the chief of the Seattle police department probably would have the whole town on red alert mode with sirens and dogs running through the streets, posters of my face plastered on every visible surface.

If only I could just call and tell him I was okay and let him know I was safe and unharmed and just give them Edward's address.

_Well, if I even knew where his address technically was. _

Then from there I could make a plan. _We _could make a plan. We would make a plan to somehow be together, _somewhere_ wherever that somewhere might be. I truly believed I cared about him enough to want him in my life wherever this whole situation might take us. I hoped he felt the same way.

I looked over to Edward who was leaning over the wooden table besides me, dipping his paint into a purplish color. His hair was falling over his forehead and covering his eyes which he grumbled about and pushed back with one of his hands.

_Sweet Boy_

I smiled. I definitely was safe and unharmed. We were starting to become a lot more comfortable and trusting with one another. I was fully aware at this point Edward was caring towards my well-being and fully intended on not hurting me like I thought at the beginning. The crazed ax-murder seemed even ridiculous to think about at this point. How could I ever think that of him?

"_Mind control", Personality that can change with the drop of a pin, Isolationist, Seems to show signs of anxiety._

I winced at my mental thoughts that always seemed to resurface from the deep recesses of my mind whenever things were actually going well and under control in my life. Everything always had second thoughts attached to it or something "hidden underneath the visible layers." Nothing was ever simple in my mind's eye, _ever_.

Edward would never hurt me. I was sure of it.

He was sweet, funny, caring and sure he was a little crazy but it's always good to have a little crazy right? It adds character.

He continued to grumble about how the color purple was not "the right hue against the red" which caused me to immediately smile and focus in on his mouth.

At the thought, I leaned over to kiss him on his lips. At first he was surprised and unresponsive but that quickly changed as he warmed up and pushed his lips back against my own. He moaned softly against me which sent a vibration to tingle against my lips. The kiss was brief and I was pulling away within seconds.

His eyes flew open.

"What was that for?" he smirked, his face tinting a little pink and his eyes a lively bright green.

The fact that we had sex, the most intimate act you could possibly have between two people, and he still blushed with a simple kiss, was enough to make my heart skip a beat.

I shrugged my shoulders playfully.

"No reason, you just look so cute with the little paint smudges on your cheek and your hair all messed up." I reached up and raked my fingers through his hair, pushing it to one side so I could see his face clearer which in fact was covered in a few streaks of paint under his left eye and down his jaw. He had a tendency to absentmindedly rub his face when he had wet hands.

He looked up at me through his dark lashes, his eyes meeting mine and the little smirk still on his face. We held each other's gaze for a moment before a sudden change in atmosphere. I felt the air leave my lungs and my stomach curl with an unknown anticipation. My eyes flashed down to where his tongue left his mouth to wet his bottom lip. I wanted to kiss him again. I was just so greedy when it came to his soft lips.

_Oh god, kiss me Edward. It's more than okay. _

His eyes flashed to my eyes and down to my lips again.

A second before I was about to say screw it and kiss him myself, he pulled me closer to him.

He grabbed my face between his hands and smashed my lips into his, effectively leaving me without air. I heard his paint brush fall to the ground along with the moan that escaped me and ran tremors down his arms with the response. He opened his mouth and welcomed me into with his warm, skilled tongue which I gratefully met with mine. After a good while, the only sounds in the room were of soft sucking and of his moans when I reached my hand into his unruly hair to pull his mouth closer to mine.

It felt so _damn_ good to be with him like this. I felt like we were making out in my mother's basement and trying to get every second we could together before he had to go home. I felt like I could lie down on the carpet and just stare at the walls for hours replaying the images of us together: the smiles the butterflies running wildly in my stomach. It felt like an all-consuming fire inside me. It was as if this feeling was enough to survive on minus food and water. It felt like falling in love for the first time.

My mouth froze against his. I pulled away, feeling my body suddenly go pale and my mind go in a million different directions at once.

_No_

I felt absolutely sick. He didn't seem at all phased my reaction and smiled at me as he opened his eyes and pulled away.

"Wow" he whispered.

His eyes held so much admiration and joy in them that I felt my heart swell knowing I was the one to do that to him. My heart almost painfully ached. I felt sad and I was angry at myself for not having a reason to justify it.

Everything started to blur, His face spinning around me, his words unclear and ringing in my ears.

_Love_

His eyes were dark and he obviously was affected by our kiss as he tentatively stroked the bare skin underneath my t-shirt and glanced down to my lips again.

I didn't want to think about that word. I didn't want to ruin this, label what we had. Love was just a word. It wasn't a feeling. I didn't want to mess this up by saying such things. They almost always turned sour. The feelings of high affection, need, desire always turned mild and cold compared to what they used to be. I just wanted to live on how it felt now.

I just knew I wanted him and he wanted me.

It was good enough.

"Let's go to the cabin" I said before kissing the spot behind his ear that always made him shudder. My head was still spinning and I was being rash. I wanted him to push me on the bed and savage me till I couldn't walk. I wanted him to take me from behind in the shower and slam me against the tiles. I just didn't want to ruin everything with thinking like I usually tended to do.

I grabbed his hand that was stroking my back and pulled it forward till it was gently touching my abdomen. I silently guided it upwards till it was placed on my left breast. His breath hitched and after a few moments he gently kneaded me, his hands growing adventurous and bolder than usual.

"Edward" I moaned and he responded with a soft grunt, burrowing his face into the side of my neck. His soft stubble rubbed against my skin.

I was beginning to feel the familiar heat rise up through my stomach and in between my legs. I crossed my legs together. At one point when his long fingers eventually left my breasts and pushed me into him more firmly. I could feel how he was hard and wanting underneath his shorts. I was pulled onto him to straddle his legs at this point and sat down on him right where I was hot an anxious for him to be.

The strong groan that emitted from him spurred me on even further. I kissed and nipped at his bottom lip, sucking it in between my teeth. He moaned so loudly it echoed of the small walls of the studio. His reaction was to grab my hips tighter and grind himself against me. I swore an actual whimper escaped my lips.

"Bella, baby I need to finish this" he said with an almost defeated tone of voice.

_Baby_

I felt my heart soar at my words. He'd never used the word baby towards me before. I didn't think he'd be the type to say pet names like that. It wasn't really a pet name though; it was more of a word used for affection.

_Even better_

Edward was showing affection. It was obvious he liked me but hearing something like that, made it clearer and out in the open. I loved it. I loved when he said that. I wanted to hear it again.

"Don't worry, you'll finish over and over again" I whispered sultry in his ear which caused him to moan and_ he _actually whimpered this time. His hips never stopped their movements of rubbing against where I was hot and almost throbbing at this point for him. I reached my arms around his neck and flung my hair back over my neck so it lay against my back in thick waves. I pushed down onto his and met his movements. I just couldn't help myself.

"No, the painting" he panted. "I need to finish it."

_Painting? _

The word faintly registered over his continued heavy breathing in my ear.

"Finish it later?" I said, not slowing my movements. I leaned in to press his lips against mine.

His lips were strong and molded onto mine but after a while, parted away much too soon.

He was panting still, now lighter. His eyes were wild, hair unruly and his lips and cheeks were flushed with a magnificent pink color.

When I furrowed my eyebrows and went in to kiss him again, he angled his head away from mine leaving me to miss his lips and be met with nothing other than air.

"Edward?" I questioned. "Is everything alright?"

He certainly seemed to be into the whole idea of things with rubbing against me and the eager kissing at first. I couldn't help the quick stream of rejection that seemed to work its way through my body leaving me feel suddenly—hurt.

He just blinked a couple times and tried to even out his breathing. "I'm fine, I just—C'mon Bella you know I want to. I just _really _need to get this done."

I felt my lips fall down into a harsh line and my body quickly retreat from his till I was standing on the dirt of the studio in my bare feet. His arms were still out as if I had never left. They slowly reached for me to come back to him, wrapping around the material of the shirt I was wearing but I quickly swatted them off.

"Seriously, do you really need to have it done _now_?" I asked, noting that I was having a hard time keeping the annoyance out of my tone.

His arms flayed back when he realized I was done with sitting anywhere close to him at this point. He reached both his hands into his hair and pulled hard, much too hard.

"Be reasonable sweet heart, I really just want to get this done." He looked like he was in pain with his eyes wide and sad and his jaw tightly clenched.

I couldn't even focus on him calling my sweetheart. I was so sexual frustrated and angry with the random whiplash of emotions this boy was putting me through today.

"Why do you have to have it done now? There's absolutely no need. If this is way of telling me you're not—in the mood or whatever, then you can just tell me." I said my tone defeated.

_You certainly seemed in the mood_

This caused him to jump up from the chair and grab me by the shoulders, pulling me to him. He grabbed one of my hands and forcibly pressed it against the rather impressive bulge in his shorts.

It was simply the boldest and hottest thing he'd ever had done. I felt all the air leave my lungs in one breath.

"Don't you see how much I want you, feel it, and hear it with my words? Bella, don't ever doubt it, ever. I _always_ want you." He whispered. The look of his dark eyes melting into mine was enough to make me believe it and feel my frustration simmer down into nothing, nothing other than complete and utter contentment.

My body became goo against his and I molded into his body for his strong embrace. His arms wrapped protectively around my small figure and pulled me to him as if he were afraid I'd leave.

"Ever" he whispered again, softly kissing the top of my head.

I nodded dumbly, wrapping my arms around his body in return, burrowing my head into him and trying to ignore the whirlwind of emotions that was going on in my chest.

"I just can't walk away from a project. I'm so close to finishing, I just need to do a few more things. I can't stand to see it at the point it is right now."

I pulled back and raised an eyebrow and gave him a sad, understanding look.

"I guess it's an artist thing" I said.

He looked down at me and was silent for a while.

"Yeah"

His eyes softened and darted towards the wall where the paintings lay. He seemed to avoid my eyes when I kissed him briefly on the lips and said I'd wait in the cabin for him. He nodded, sitting down on his stool and placing his head in his hands.

I turned around and peeked my head through the studio one last time, to see him still in the same position, before closing the door and walking down the line of lanterns back to the cabin.

~X~

Edward had a lot of books in his collection.

I've read most of them at this point and was starting to get into the bigger volumes he had which seemed to be worn-out and read thoroughly. Pages were torn, highlighted and folded over to resume at a later time.

I choose a little red book which seemed to be fairly new but title less on the front cover. I shrugged my shoulders at it and laid back against the couch's armrest, pulling a blanket over my body. I opened the book and began to read.

I was a little more than halfway into the third page when I felt a peaceful Zen fall over me. My eyes grew heavy and my body was sedated with relaxation. Dark won over and I was asleep before Edward ever made it inside.

~X~

I remember something warm and hard wrapped around me in the middle of the night. The strong, earthy scent of something familiar and sweet, soothing words in my ears and I was placed against a soft mattress and covered with an equally earthy smelling blanket which I clung to and wrapped my body around.

"Goodnight my love" registered faintly in a dream-like state where I was placed in the dark and unable to focus or respond. I snuggled closer into the blanket and mumbled a reply before I was out once again.

~X~

It was about 5am when I woke up again, this time to an engine.

It was a car engine.

I opened my eyes sleepily and stretched my arms over my head. The window was still open and the curtain was tied to the side showing the trees along the forest and how they stood still against the morning darkness.

I scooted my body closer to the other side of the bed, instinctively searching out the heat of Edward's body.

I was met with nothing.

My eyes slowly opened a little more, adjusting to the room's lack of light to see in fact, Edward was not in bed.

The engine sound revved louder and now fully awake, my eyes flung to the outside window where I saw light gathering around the trees. The light traveled along one side of the forest to the other as if it were moving. My eyes followed it its entire distance.

I didn't quite understand it but deep down my half-asleep subconscious knew I needed to follow the light and it was important.

My body was off the bed then, in fury of tangled hair and sheets and past the door.

* * *

**Author note: Sorry for the cliffie! ;_; **

**Please send me a review? C'mon it will be my present for the holidays! **


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